By Rich Santos
I need to figure out the high-heels dynamic. Don't get me wrong—heels are really cute. But, I think heels can be overused and I must say I rarely notice them and I don't know the "heels experience" that a girl can go through.
I dressed as Pam Grier one Halloween and I wore size 14 red heels with zippers on the side, purchased at Payless. The most difficult thing I dealt with that night was getting harassed by some frat boys who must have thought I was a transvestite. I contemplated using my heel as a weapon at that point. OK, so I wanted to hit obnoxious harrassing frat boys with my heel—maybe I did learn the "heels experience".
But the issue is that girls notice shoes more often than guys do. Also, guys have a play anywhere any time mentality which can really get us into trouble if we don't try to put ourselves into the shoes of our date.
Here is what I did wrong:
This girl I know loves David Beckham, so I got tickets for us to see him play when he came to New York with the LA Galaxy. To get to the Meadowlands, fans have to board a bus and they have to take that bus back into the city after the game ends.
So we started off with drinks at a few nice outdoor venues, but I found it strange that she decided to wear heels to a sporting event. As we got drunker, she got clumsier and she tripped multiple times in those heels.
During the game, it occurred to me that my date was probably the only person in the entire stadium wearing heels...other than Victoria Beckham.
By the time the game ended, my date and I were pretty lit. Things were about to take a turn for the worse. Upon leaving the stadium, we ran into a bus line that looked like it could have been an unemployment line during the Great Depression.
Of course the line also resembled a police lineup—full of part-time thugs who were both obnoxious and violent when drunk. My date was one of those thugs. She stopped and picked an argument with any person who was making fun of David Beckham. Then she accused me of not standing up for her—my stance is diffuse anger whenever possible and avoid the fight.
Apparently she didn't like that.
Her belligerence turned to sadness when she suddenly wanted to be home. She was so desperate, she suggested that we cross the highway to a hotel and just spend the night there and find our way home in the morning. I was willing to do whatever she said at this point. So, I suggested that we cut through some shrubs and then climb the fence on the outside of the stadium, and then cross the highway to get to the hotel. She declined and eventually we found a car home.
When she recounts the story to our friends, she loves to point out the terrible suggestion I made, and how I disregarded that she had heels on.
Guys are always ready to play. We can be in a suit, and walking by a basketball court and if we are invited to play, we'll throw down our jacket and play. It's the image you always had of your male classmates: the dress clothes with mud on the knees from playing during recess.
It probably looks rude to a girl when guys ask them to do things in heels that they can't do—it looks like we don't even notice when a girl has made an effort to look good. But sometimes, zombie movie effect happens. If brain-eating zombies suddenly invaded, you'd have to abandon those heels and run and fight. The parking lot was full of drunk thugs, so I felt the same level of chased-by-zombie pressure when my date lied on the grass and proclaimed we'd never make it home and how it was all my fault. Don't be that girl that trips in the horror movie and drags herself along the ground crying while them monster chases her.
Do you think it's rude when guys ask you to do things that would be tough to do in heels? And, are you selective with when you wear heels: would you wear them to a sporting event, for example? Do you have any embarrassing heel dating moments? Does this reveal something I'm looking for in a girl: the type that can throw her heels off and come back down to earth when she has to?
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