Almost nothing turns me on more than a man sharing his favorite poems with me. I'd take a man who knows his cunning linguists well over one who is an expert at that other thing any day of the week.
I've dated four guys who won me over thanks, in large part, to poetry. Is it a coincidence that these are the men I remember most fondly and vividly? I don't think so. Two liked to snail mail their favorite poems to me. All four liked to read verse out loud to me now and then — and believe me, it is hot when a dude ventriloquizes Yeats, for example, in order to say:
WHEN you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read...
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.
From my poetry-loving seducers, I've learned how powerful it can be when I turn things around and throw down some poetry in front of a man myself. And today, in honor of her new book of poetry, Ideal Cities, I asked my very dear friend Erika Meitner to tell us her favorite poems for every romantic (and not-so-romantic) occasion.
Here were her picks:
For when you like a guy a ton, and you want him to think you're cool...
"Knowing You Could Is Better Than Knowing You Will" by Mark Bibbins
I must see you; let's meet at the fringes of respectability
at quarter past nine. We could straddle the oft-licked
curb (it's the repetition we like).
For when you are thinking sweet, dirty thoughts about him...
This little ditty by e.e. cummings (the patron poet of email messages)
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
For when you suddenly realize you (really) love him...
"Morning" by Frank O'Hara
do you know how it is
when you are the only
passenger if there is a
place further from me
I beg you do not go
(I, Maura, also recommend this one — "Your Catfish Friend" by Richard Brautigan — for moments when you are feeling especially lovey-dovey and devoted.)
For a booty call...
This short, sweet one by Matthew Rohrer
You called, you're on the train, on Sunday,
I have just taken a shower and await
you. Clouds are slipping in off the ocean,
but the room is gently lit by the green
shirt you gave me.
For when you're (really) pissed at him...
This untitled poem by Jill Alexander Essbaum
The heart that's had
For when you have ended things, and you want to let him down gently... (Also good for when you want to defensively explain why you went along with something you knew would end...)
"Failing and Flying" by Jack Gilbert
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It's the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
For when he's been a real douchebag, and you want to make that perfectly clear...
"Unwritten Law" by Louise Gluck
I blessed my good fortune in you.
Blessed it absolutely....
And you in your wisdom and cruelty
gradually taught me the meaninglessness of that term.
Folks, Erika and I would be so tickled if you weigh in with your thoughts about the best poems for all the stages of a love affair — or simply your reactions to these.