Marie Claire Marie Claire
  • Celebrity
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Culture
  • Power
  • Nice Talk
  • Fashion Month
  • More
    • Politics
    • Career & Money
    • Health & Fitness
    • Power Play
    • Travel
    • Promo Codes
    • Food & Cocktails
    • About Us
    • Subscribe
    • Sex & Love
  • Newsletter SIGN UP TO OUR NEWSLETTER
  • Marie Claire
    Marie Claire Newsletter

    Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!


    By submitting your information you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy and are aged 16 or over.

    You are now subscribed

    Your newsletter sign-up was successful


    Want to add more newsletters?

    Marie Claire Daily

    Delivered daily

    Marie Claire Daily

    Get exclusive access to fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more.

    Marie Claire Self Checkout

    Sent weekly on Saturday

    Marie Claire Self Checkout

    Exclusive access to expert shopping and styling advice from Nikki Ogunnaike, Marie Claire's editor-in-chief.

    Maire Claire Face Forward

    Once a week

    Maire Claire Face Forward

    Insider tips and recommendations for skin, hair, makeup, nails and more from Hannah Baxter, Marie Claire's beauty director.

    Livingetc

    Once a week

    Livingetc

    Your shortcut to the now and the next in contemporary home decoration, from designing a fashion-forward kitchen to decoding color schemes, and the latest interiors trends.

    Homes & Gardens

    Delivered Daily

    Homes & Gardens

    The ultimate interior design resource from the world's leading experts - discover inspiring decorating ideas, color scheming know-how, garden inspiration and shopping expertise.


    An account already exists for this email address, please log in.
    Trending
    • NYFW
    • Life In Plastic
    • Banana Republic x La Ligne
    • New Books
    • The Venice Film Festival
    1. Sex love

    Deciphering His Vague, Confusing, Off-Putting and Totally Awkward Text Messages

    Staring at your phone and not sure what to think or much less reply? Our dating expert cracks the code on four real life text messages that his lady friends recently received, and tells you how to answer.

    By Lodro Rinzler
    Published 3 January 2014 In News

    When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

    woman on phone
    (Image credit: Getty)
    • Facebook
    • X
    • Pinterest
    Share this article
    Join the conversation
    Follow us
    Add us as a preferred source on Google
    Subscribe to our newsletter

    I promise I won't use a Groupon on the first date.

    It sounds like you have found a really fancy gentleman. I'm kidding around of course, and thankfully so is he. It sounds like you met this guy, flirted a bit, and he has just asked you out. Either you haven't said yes yet, in which case he is joking around but actually saying that he'd like to take you somewhere at least a little bit fancy, or you have just said yes and he's psyched and letting you know he's planning something good. In either case, he doesn't strike me as the type to actually use a Groupon on a date, and is more likely making fun of a recent bad date experience you mentioned.

    Your response: If you're on the fence about him and think this is charming? "In that case, how could a lady say no?" would do the trick. If you think you might not want to date him you could say, "That's very kind, but I think I need to pass." A firm no; he'll get the message. And if the date is already on the books? "Can't wait."

    Latest Videos FromMarie Claire
    Watch full video here:

    Hey girl. I don't think it's a good idea for me to come out tonight. I desperately want to go and see you but I'm running on empty and I need more than five hours of sleep. I'm really sorry, have fun for me.

    How is this unclear? Dude likes you. He is yearning to see you, and has actually spent the last hour trying to muster the energy to try to make it out tonight. He simply doesn't have it in him and knows he has a long day tomorrow. The fact that he opens with the "Hey girl" shows implied affection. It might be a bit too soon for him to be using the "Hey girl" with you, but let's forgive him for a moment. After all, he's not mincing words about wanting to hang out – he "desparately" wants to see you. He's stretched super thin and apologizes at the end. I think he's a stand-up guy. Considering some of these texts I've been seeing this guy may be my pick for Gentleman of the Month.

    You may like
    • Colleen Bordeaux smiles while seated in a red top beside a large leafy plant and sheer white curtains. Ask This Influencer What Your Boss Really Thinks. You May Regret It
    • Owen Thiele poses in a white suit with a black vest underneath lying on a counter in an office for marie claire's meet cute series Owen Thiele Is Everyone's Best Friend
    • Sarah Pidgeon wore an off-duty date outfit with Joe Alwyn in New York City Sarah Pidgeon's Off-Duty Date Outfit Teases Her New Relationship

    Your response: Be kind no matter what. Even if you're not interested, still be polite. For example: "No problem, hope you sleep well." If you've been seeing this guy or are romantically interested? :Sounds good. Dream of me?" or "No worries. Make it up to me?" Something inviting and playful would work well here.

    RELATED:


    Text Messages From a Guy (And What to Respond)

    I would like to hot toddy all over your face.

    Marie Claire Newsletter

    Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!

    By submitting your information you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy and are aged 16 or over.

    Ew. Typically a hot toddy is a warm beverage, a mixed drink with a brandy or whiskey base. Apparently it has also been used, as is the case here, to describe male ejaculate, particularly when it is cold out. I'm guessing this guy stumbled into that definition. Maybe you were sharing that you were curled up by the fireplace with a blanket and a hot toddy in hand, which led to this shocking confession. I'm going to assume here that you and the man in question have had intercourse and the sharing of bodily fluids on skin has occurred. If that's the case, and this sort of text gets your heart racing in an amorous way, good on you. For some people, receiving a text of this nature might be a big turn off. For those people: good on you too.

    Your response: If you are grossed out, say so to spare you both future embarrassment. "Gross" or "Ew! Don't ever say that again" are both perfectly fine responses that won't cut the conversation off prematurely. I feel mildly embarrassed to respond on your behalf if you're into this sort of message but here we go: "Sounds delicious." Okay. Someone should probably send this excerpt to my mom.

    RELATED: What Does Your Number Mean to Him?

    What to read next
    • author stacey yu poses in a white shirt in her headshot opposite an image of the cover of her book kitten featuring a cat looking through a pearl bracelet The Girlboss Is Dead. But the "Girlbaby" Is Just As Bad
    • a collage of the best fake dating books including yours truly international relationships summer girlfriend and more 10 Romance Novels That Prove Fake-Dating Is the Best (and Hottest) Trope
    • Stylish woman crossing the street wearing black sunglasses, a black long sleeve velvet dress and cheetah print flats When the Group Chat Has Plans, You’ll Be Glad You Picked Up These 30 Nordstrom Sale Pieces

    Bye Felicia

    I happen to know for a fact that this is not the lady's name. It took me a minute to figure this one out but this is actually pretty funny. Apparently "Bye Felicia" is a line from the 1995 movie Friday, starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker. In it, their neighbor Felicia comes by asking if she can borrow a car or a joint. Chris Tucker is unkind to her so she turns to Ice Cube, about to make the same request. Before she can, he says, "Bye Felicia." In other words, get lost. Why this term is making a resurgence in this decade I cannot say, but it has come back into play in a pretty regular way. I'd just as soon see it fade back into non-existence.

    Your response: The dude is being a jerk, and likely is trying to play it off in a passive aggressive way. I wouldn't put it past you to tell him where he can stick it. Or a "Bye Felicia yourself," is a bit kinder. You can also decide to not respond at all, and cut this person out of your life.

    Lodro Rinzler is the author of 'Walk Like a Buddha: Even if Your Boss Sucks, Your Ex is Torturing You, and You're Hungover Again' and the founder of the Institute for Compassionate Leadership.

    Explore More
    relationships dating
    Lodro Rinzler
    Read more
    Owen Thiele poses in a white suit with a black vest underneath lying on a counter in an office for marie claire's meet cute series
    TV shows Owen Thiele Is Everyone's Best Friend He's charming his way through Hollywood, from 'Adults' and a growing podcast audience to Taylor Swift's inner circle.
    By Faran Krentcil
    harry jowsey wears a tan suit and places his hand over his chest as he greets a group of women on netflix's let's marry harry
    TV shows Your Guide to the 20 Women Competing for Harry Jowsey's Heart on 'Let's Marry Harry' Will one be able to turn the notorious Netflix dating-show player into a devoted husband?
    By Quinci LeGardye
     
     
    Harry Jowsey wears a tuxedo shirt while speaking with a woman in a wedding veil, in a still from the 'Let's Marry Harry' finale.
    TV shows We No Longer Think Marriage Is a "Prize." Why Do Netflix Dating Shows? The streamer has reached a new frontier of preying on women’s desire for partnership.
    By Quinci LeGardye
    A portrait of Jessica Tarlov seated outdoors in a teal pantsuit.
    Politics Fox News’s Favorite Nasty Woman
    By Noor Ibrahim
     
     
    Latest in Sex love
    Two women covered in blood (Gillian Anderson as Billy and Hannah Einbinder as Kris) stand closely together in a convenience store aisle, with their intertwined hands on a cart. A still from Jane Schoenbrun's 'Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma' (2026).
    Movies Everyone Has Thoughts About Gen Z and Sex. 'Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma' Gets It Right
    Princess Diana wears a shimmering blue mini dress and carries a matching blue silk clutch bag
    Royals How Diana Navigated Being a "Newly Divorced Princess"
     
     
    Queen Camilla wears off-white and pale green on her wedding day, including a white hat, to marry King Charles in 2005
    Royals Why Queen Camilla "Felt a Little Broken" on Her Wedding Day
    Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are married at Madison Square Garden and a sign announces their nuptials outside
    Celebrity What Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Said in Their Wedding Vows
     
     
    Latest in News
    A model on the DVF Spring 2027 runway at New York Fashion Week.
    Fashion Henry Zankov Puts the DVF Woman Back in "Motion"
    collage of the best celebrity looks at the Spring/Summer 2027 season of New York Fashion Week
    Celebrity Style New York Fashion Week Is Back—and So Are the Cool-Girl Celebrity Outfits
     
     
    Prince William, Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle, Prince Harry
    Royals Prince William and Princess Kate Are Taking A “Wait-and-See Approach” To Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s UK Move
    Anne Hathaway brought a little purple purse from Bulgari to a New York Fashion Week event
    Celebrity Style Anne Hathaway Just Started NYFW With a Tiny On-Trend Purple Purse
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Marie Claire
    RSS
    • About us
    • Contact Future's experts
    • Contact us
    • Advertise Online
    • Newsletter
    • Terms and conditions
    • Privacy policy
    • Cookies policy
    • Careers
    Add as a preferred source on Google Add as a preferred source on Google

    Marie Claire is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

    © Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.