By Marie Claire
In her advice column, MC's love guru Daisy answers your questions about finding love after a string of meaningless hookups.
I'm inching toward 30 and I've never been in a loving, healthy, adult relationship. I've had a ton of hookups and I've been the fun no-strings-attached girl for months at a time, but I've never had a serious relationship where I'm in love with a guy and he is with me. In the past, I wasn't looking for meaningful commitments. But now I am, and I'm starting to worry that I'm unlovable. What am I doing wrong? —Alexis, 29, Pittsburgh
For a long time, you've been training yourself to be satisfied with a certain kind of relationship. (Or let's call it a love affair — that has a nice old-fashioned ring, as if your trysts were conducted under the influence of highballs.) Try looking at it this way: You've been both the scientist and the subject in a behaviorist experiment. For years, the subject (you) was asked by the scientist (also you) to operate under certain conditions and expectations, and had to learn to behave accordingly. By now, I bet you're really skilled at giving the right signals to let swains know you're up for something less than commitment.
You want something different? Act different. Go slower: Check your own impulses. Remember that currently you're a kind of finely tuned casual-relationship machine. So don't trust your instincts; they've been doing some other job for too long. Try doing the opposite of what you've done in the past. The main thing is this: Instead of worrying about whether the guy likes you, worry about whether you like him. Your friends can help you vet the guys you choose. It's going to be exquisitely uncomfortable. You're going to be vulnerable in a new way. And that's good news, because vulnerability is a necessary ingredient in the messy stew that is a committed relationship.
The 'True Story' Cast: Your Guide
Meet the cast of Netflix's latest thriller.
By Quinci LeGardye •
93 Gifts for Anyone and Everyone on Your List
A whole lot of gifts that will please everyone on your list.
By Maria Ricapito •
'Only Murders in the Building' Season 2: Everything We Know
The next season of the Hulu hit comedy will go in a "bigger direction."
By Neha Prakash •
The 17 Best Sex Games to Spice Up Date Night With
Game night, but make it hot.
By The Editors •
The 56 Most Popular Vibrators, Reviewed by Experts
The most trusted source in feelin' yourself.
By Alanna Greco •
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce •
Four Flirting Fun Facts--With Research to Back Them Up!
My pal Judy Dutton just wrote an excellent new book: How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover. She's chatted with me about the psychological studies that show how best to flirt; what kind of pick-up lines work best; and what you're really saying with your body language.
By Maura Kelly •
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors •
75 Movie Sex Scenes That Are 100 Percent Real
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner •
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2021 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors •
Cult Status Satisfyer Vibrators Are Under $40 for Prime Day
4 stars, 16k reviews...yeah, this vibe's got a massive fan club (for good reason).
By Carina Hsieh •