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Sex love
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Help Me: Why Do I Always Go For Unavailable Girls?
The other day I was telling a friend about my three favorite girls in Manhattan. The countdown is: #3 A cute waitress at The Bowery Bar #2 The bartender at The Village Pourhouse #1 A friend who I only get to hang out with once in a while in groups Upon looking at that list, I noticed a few sad things: I have never talked to two of those girls I don’t even know two of those girls’ names The one girl I do talk to, I get along with great—and she flirts with me—but she has a boyfriend The net of this is that there is no hope to get even one date with any of these girls. Is it just a coincidence that my three favorite girls in Manhattan are all impossible to date at the moment, or am I purposely longing for unavailable girls?
By Rich Santos
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Did Your Siblings or Lack of Siblings Affect Your Dating Life?
Whenever anyone hears that I grew up between two sisters they always remark how well I must understand women. Those of you who have been reading these posts know the truth: I dont understand women.
By Rich Santos
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Moving for a Man: London Calling
When I moved across the globe for a British guy, the weather wasn't the only thing that was foggy.
By Lauren Mechling
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Do I Have a Foot Fetish?
My obsessive-compulsive mind jumps to conclusions (like the time I thought I had a crabs infestation just because I was itching). So, its no surprise that my habit of looking at girls toes since the summer has arrived has made me...
By Rich Santos
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8 Reasons Guys Are Obsessed With Sex
Sex physically resembles VIP Access because we have to be invited. We work for it, we convince, we campaign, strategize, and pull out all the stops. The woman controls all access.
By Rich Santos
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How Do You Keep Sparks In Your Relationship?
Fourth of July conjures up memories of steamed crabs, fireflies, and sparklers. Yeah, those things are kind of random, but that’s the protocol for a late afternoon Baltimore cookout in the summer—oh, and terrible, terrible cheap beer. One would have to head further South to get real fireworks, but in our earlier days my sisters and I were content to sprint around with sparklers in hand. As the Fourth approaches, I’ve been inundated with friends seeking advice and telling me stories about dating, and they always take a moment to acknowledge the presence or absence of “the spark”. So, sparklers are lame entertainment for Fourth of July, but “the spark” is actually that rare thing we seek in relationships. The spark is a tough thing to define, but listing some characteristics of the spark will help us get there: It does not occur often—we can date for years and never feel a spark with anyone It is something we are almost always sure of—you can’t “think” you’re feeling sparks, you usually know it’s there 100% It is not always mutual: it is possible for only one person in potential couple to feel a spark It is spontaneous: it doesn’t develop, it kind of just happens. This is evident by the fact that sometimes friends suddenly feel sparks after years of platonic behavior It can go away and come back So, this brings up other things to consider. How do sparks make us behave, and—more importantly—what kind of strategies can we use to keep sparks flying in our relationships as they blossom into long term unions or marriage? Sparks make me do crazy things:
By Rich Santos
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How Long Should You Wait To Propose?
Last week was wedding week: I went down to Dallas this past weekend for my friend’s wedding. So, I’ve been thinking about marriage… As more and more of my friends get into serious relationships, it’s interesting to see the ones that get married and the ones that stay together year after year without getting married. I wonder to myself—when will the more serious person in this relationship get fed up and either leave or present an ultimatum?
By Rich Santos
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Should You Live Together Before Marriage?
Ever since my sisters and I were old enough to consider, we were subject to speeches from my traditional parents who could not bear to see us moving in with significant others before getting married. Their rationale was that it was just a way to off getting married. My older sister lived with her boyfriend for over two years in San Francisco before moving back East when they decided to get married. The two are happily married with two baby daughters. My little sister had a tougher experience. She lived with her boyfriend for three years, met someone whimsically during a business trip and returned to New York resigned to change her life. She informed her boyfriend that they needed to break up and that she was thinking about a career change and maybe even moving to another country. The ensuing months were definitely tense. In New York City, where nearly every apartment is occupied, you can’t just move out of an apartment unless you find someone to take your spot. This is also contingent on whether you can find a new place. So, my sister and her boyfriend decided that the most practical thing to do would be to honor the lease. The next three months my sister and her boyfriend took turns sleeping on the couch. There were also times when my sister met people out and wanted to bring them home, but knew that it would be a bad idea.
By Rich Santos
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The Fake MySpace Boyfriend
Creating a fake boyfriend to make your ex jealous used to be a complicated matter (see The Wedding Date), but now, all it takes is a laptop and a little free time.
By Marie Claire
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Do I Want A High Heels Kind of Girl?
I need to figure out the high-heels dynamic. Dont get me wrongheels are really cute. But, I think heels can be overused and I must say I rarely notice them and I dont know the heels experience that a girl can go th...
By Rich Santos
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Masturbation And Me
I started masturbating in 7th grade. The ammo was a tattered 1978 Playboy. After a bunch of times looking through it without incident, I eventually just found myself masturbating without even realizing it andboomit happened.
By Rich Santos
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Do You Believe In Blind Dating?
I don’t like getting set up on blind dates. It’s hard enough to find someone that you’re compatible with on your own, so what are the chances of someone else figuring that out for you?The term “blind date” already sets off red flags. Am I too picky? Is there a set of people out there that will try anything once, and gleefully go on blind dates, half cocked? I don’t think anything as complicated as dating should be done blind. Blind anything doesn’t seem right: blind test-taking? Blind fishing? Blind surgery? That may be extreme, but sometimes dating feels as complicated as surgery.
By Rich Santos
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What Are Your Tactics For Getting Away From A Guy During a Date?
I recently met a girl in a bar and got her number. The one caveat was that I got her number under the premise that I would help her find a job in public relations. My sister is in PR so I would at least be able to get this girl interviews. I still haven’t learned not to mix business with pleasure. I began asking the girl out on dates. I thought I could start dating this girl AND get her a job. It never occurred to me that she might have only wanted me as a business contact. I took her to an Italian restaurant in the Bowery. We sat down for dinner, and the girl immediately took control.
By Rich Santos
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When Does Persistence Stop Paying?
They say persistence pays, butof courseif we try to apply this rule to the dating world, its turned on its head. I have never seen a situation where being persistence in the initial stages has landed a girl. I used to go about...
By Rich Santos
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My Hot Summer Looks for Women
Guys definitely notice a girl’s style. Sometimes I’m completely sold on how a girl dresses or how she does her hair. I can remember times when my friends and I have been heading home after meeting some girls and picking out a girl who was dressed really hot—and talking about her at length. The ultimate look is sexy, cute, hot all combined. I once tried to define these words, but perhaps a girl can just define them in her style. As we start getting towards the end of Summer, I wanted to lay out my favorite Summer looks on girls: Jeans with heels OK, so I did complain when I went out with a girl who wore heels to a sporting event, but I really like the jeans with heels look when appropriate. It’s sophisticated and sexy. I think black heels look the best with jeans. In terms of the heels themselves, I’m really not an expert on this, but the heels that have that 40’s style to them are really cute on girls. The jeans with heels look goes across all seasons. Sundresses This is so cliché but they look so hot. Sundresses seem to pick up the summer breeze and refract the sun’s rays…they are magical. The other day my friend and I saw a gorgeous girl riding her bike in a sundress and we stared, mesmerized, while he remarked: “All these girls riding around their bikes in sundresses…it’s just not fair.”
By Rich Santos
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Confessions: Addicted to Internet Dating
Marie Claire has the story of a man addicted to online dating.
By Christopher Farah
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The Bush Agenda
Could the Brazilian wax be a lot less sexy than we think?
By Melissa Schweiger
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Is Flirting Ever Serious?
I thought I understood flirting, but it appears I have no idea how it works. Here are actions that I thought signified flirting from girls: Making a lot of eye contact Putting your face close to mine when speaking Brushing my arm or touc...
By Rich Santos
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My Apartment Has A Lot Of Turnoffs (Part 1)
The cock block is a male slang term for anything that hinders a guy’s chance of getting with a girl. Now, as you’ve seen so far I’m pretty much a walking cock block. I say and do stupid things, sometimes I get too drunk and out of control or goofy. Often, I get hungry late at night instead of amorous and I end up walking home after soup and something deep fried, alone, as the sun comes up. Even a person’s diet can be a cock block. Every family recipe I have requires fresh chopped garlic. I think garlic, raw too, is glorious. I’ll put it with tomatoes and basil, raw, or cook it with anything else. But sometimes if I eat too much it will literally seep from my pores. Also, like that bloody spot in Macbeth, garlic has a way of hanging around on your hands even if you wash them ten times in a day (and we all know what it does to our breath). I must monitor my garlic intake and time it correctly. The other day I was cleaning my bedroom and realized: my bedroom and entire apartment is a collection of cock blocks—they are scattered throughout my apartment like a mine-field. I decided to list the most apparent cock block features of my apartment and see what you thought was the worst, and also get a look at what sorts of horrible things have put you out of the mood once you’ve gotten to a guy’s place.
By Rich Santos
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Here's Why He Disappeared
How annoying is it when someone you thought was into you suddenly disappears off the face of the earth? Even more annoying is the fact that nine times out of ten, we are not given a reason for the sudden change in behavior. Ive listed eve...
By Rich Santos
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How I Felt Like a Woman
I keep reading comments that I need to put myself in the shoes of girls and try to live the experience of being a girl. I thought I was doing that when I bought my abusive boyfriend jeans. In any event, I decided to really live the experience by ...
By Rich Santos
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Scent of a Marriage
How important is smell in a relationship? Very, argues one woman.
By E.J. Balloch
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Happily Ever Engaged
What altar? These days, more couples are finding long-term bliss in the prenuptial zone.
By Judy Dutton
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I Had No Idea My Husband Was a Rapist
How Joy Lynn Bruce learned the shocking truth.
By As Told To Sandy M. Fernandez
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What's a Real Man Anyway?
Raised in a culture that praised machismo above all else, I had to answer that question for myself.
By Galina Espinoza
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For Love or Money
Yes, we had each other. But what about the safety net?
By Lucy Kaylin
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Body Betrayals On Dates
Some say the human body is a miracle, the epitome of creation. Upon further review, the human body can be downright disgusting. My body betrays me during intense moments, such as first dates...
By Rich Santos