7 Things That Happen When You Wear Black Lipstick to Work

A cautionary tale.

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Sadly, our reality isn't a Beyoncé music video or March Jacobs' Fall 2016 show, which means black lipstick worn IRL will always be a little jarring. Badass, but jarring. So when I decided to wear it at the office recently, I knew there'd be a slew of reactions—and pitfalls because dark pigments are as understandably demanding as his Purple Majesty.

Full disclosure: When I tried this experiment, I wore Bite Beauty's Black Truffle from their Amuse Bouche collection. It isn't 100% black as it has violet undertones, but it ended up being a fortuitous tribute to his Purpleness as I wore it on the day he died. (I'm devastated, can you tell?)

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Anyways, here are a few things that will inevitably happen if wear black, or really any other super-dark lip shade, to work.

1. People will stare at your lips while you're talking to them. 

If they don't say anything about your gothic lips, but they're thinking about saying something. Trust.

2. If someone *is* going to say something, it will be a compliment.

That was my experience at least and I'm preeetty sure everyone meant it. And yes, I work in a creative field and things aren't as buttoned-up, but if it doesn't go against your office dress code, I think you'll be surprised at how positively people will react. I was.

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3. You'll feel like HBIC.

The thing about statement lipstick is that it automatically amplifies what you're wearing. Because of this, I felt like a much cooler version of myself. It's kind of like going bleach blonde à la Taylor Swift. It makes you this whole new, edgier person.

4. Eating gracefully will be damn near impossible.

See our list of lip-color-friendly foods. But regardless of how careful you are, be prepared for messy-as-hell-looking coffee cups, bite marks on your sandwiches, and lip color bleeding if you're so daring as to grab soup for lunch.

5. You're going to need to reapply your color at least 1,004 times because perfection is non-negotiable.

This means you've got to have a hand mirror and your choice lipstick at arm's length at all times. If you don't, you'll pay a dear, dear price. (See below).

6. At some point, you're going to forget you're wearing black lipstick.

At the end of the work day, when you're completely worn down by all of your to-do's, you'll be in such a daze that you forget about the super-needy lip you're wearing. You'll smile, head nod, and even talk to people without realizing that you've swallowed half your lip color and you look like you've just downed seven glasses of red wine. You'll vow never to make the same mistake again.

7. Happy hour, anyone?

After fixing the mess that was your neglected dark lip, you'll be back in the I'm-feeling-myself-zone and cursing yourself for not having made after-work plans. You want, nay NEED to be seen. So you'll either make some with your always-down-for-happy-hour friend or coworker. My suggestion for a watering hole? A wine bar that will have a nice, purply glass of shiraz waiting for you.

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