The Emotional Stages of Watching Orange is the New Black
All of the feelings.
By Laura Cohen
YES. I've waited a LONG time for this. It's time. It all comes down to this moment.
Wait... Can I still use my ex's Netflix account even though we broke up? What if he changed the password? Okay, cool, he didn't. We're good to go.
The animals, the animals. Trapped, trapped, trapped 'till the cage is full... I love this song. Should I go back and listen again? I like to guess which characters are which by their facial features.
Nope, I can't go back now that the scene started and it's a flashback. I love the back stories. They should really give Sophia's past a spin-off.
Um, WHAT? You can't just do that! These women have rights! This is so unfair. Stupid Pornstache.
Hmm, who is that again? Did we meet her before? Are there new characters? I can barely keep up with the ones we already have.
Daya and Bennett forever. The two of them, that's all I need in life. I might care about their relationship more than my own.
Oh, Crazy Eyes. You're the best. Chocolate and vanilla swiiiiiiirrrll. When are we going to learn about her past? I can't handle the mysteries any longer.
#TeamAlex. No, wait, #TeamLarry. I can't choose I need a drink.
There will never be a friendship as true as that of Poussey and Taystee. If I was in Litchfield I hope they'd accept me into their clique. I think they would.
I hate seeing any of them miserable. I just love them all.
OMG. OMG. What a cliffhanger. I can't handle this. Are my friends as far as I am? Can I call someone about this? I need to know what happens next. At least the next episode is right here.
But should I watch it now or save it for later? Before I know it the season will be over and I'll have to wait a whole year to feast my eyes on unseen OITNB material.
F*ck it. Next episode.
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