• If you want the straight dope (and don't have a job), watch Wolf Blitzer, The Situation Room (CNN, 4 to 7 p.m.).
  • If you think liberals are child-molesting limo lovers, watch Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor (Fox, 8 p.m.).
  • If you like a little Botox with your moral outrage, watch Keith Olbermann, Countdown (MSNBC, 8 p.m.).
  • If you prefer your newsmen more prepared than coiffed, watch David Gregory, reporter for Nightly News (NBC, 6:30 p.m.).
  • If you are into pundits-as-superfans, minus the beer and face paint, watch Chris Matthews, Hardball (MSNBC, 7 p.m.).
  • If you are a fan of cage-fighting, watch Sean Hannity, Hannity & Colmes (Fox, 9 p.m.).
  • If you miss Tim Russert, watch Tom Brokaw, Meet the Press (NBC, Sunday, 9 and 10:30 a.m.).
  • If you enjoy being addressed as "Nation," watch Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m.).
  • If you are mad as hell and use Brylcreem, watch Lou Dobbs, Lou Dobbs Tonight (CNN, 7 p.m.).

*All listings Eastern time.

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