1 Hot-glue antlers to your cat's head

2 Consume fruitcake, eggnog, or gelt

3 Kiss anyone under the mistletoe whom you wouldn't kiss under any unadorned archway

4 Try to spell Chanukah (Hannukah? Hanukkah?) correctly

5 Make your own wrapping paper from potatoes and beet juice

6 Display a pine branch vertically in your apartment and call it a Christmas tree. Because you'll be at your folks' place soon anyway, and, honestly, that Charlie Brown tree is the most depressing thing we have ever seen

7 Play strip dreidel

8 Use phony plastic Christmas stuff. Examples: fake trees, spray snow, Jessica Simpson's holiday album

9 Wear the Santa hat, and nothing else

What Do You Think?