A Year of Living Flirtatiously

I invite a dude to hang out with me and my friends ... and after getting his response, I have to wonder if negative-thinking might help toughen me up and make living flirtatiously easier.

You guys remember Mr. Tweed Jeans--he of the extended flirtation at a party two weekends ago? He who, despite seeming to be quite interested and talking to me for, like, 30 minutes, didn't get my number when I said I was taking off? Yeah, well, I invited him to hang with me and some friends ... and ... 

A new site has the funniest e-cards I've ever come across. There's one you can send to an office crush, one you can send to that great guy you just went on a first date with ... and a couple that would be appropriately inappropriate for the dude you're shagging. Which ones are your favorites? (Fair warning: Some of them are a little dirty.)

I did everything wrong on Saturday night, when trying to pick up a painter from Portland, Oregon--including telling him about some of the other romantic entanglements in my life. Can you guess how this debacle turned out?

Please don't try any of the maneuvers I pulled on Saturday night. Today, I'll tell you about the first three of them ... and tomorrow, I'll finish off my Halloween saga.

Or do we have to be ready before we can find it? I sort of feel like I could love Barnaby Jepperdoom--maybe--if I let myself. (Let's keep that between you and me, shall we?) But do I still have commitment-phobia? Or is it more that when you find the person who is REALLy right, you don't have to talk yourself into getting serious--it just happens?

Am I being kind of pathetic at this point? ... Also, I still don't have a Halloween costume, despite the fact that I had 5 sexy possibilities lined up last week. What should I be? What are you guys gonna be?

Sort of--according to a recent study. But you have to play in a very specific way.

Saturday night party. The cutest dude in the room asks me what I do, and I say: "Why don't you guess?" Then we talk for a good thirty minutes ... but ...

When we meet someone new, we always want to know his (or her) name, job and hometown. And yet asking those questions can make you come off like a boor--like you're conducting a job interview instead of really getting to know someone. Dating coach John Keegan comes to the rescue! Ask the Big Three Q's according to his suggestions and a person will feel intrigued, not interrogated.

Should I have gone back to the apartment of a man I barely knew? A self-defense expert weighs in with thoughts about how we can protect ourselves from violence (and STDs).

Or is that always a bad move? If he doesn't have the confidence to just dive in, does it turn you off?

Or does it depend on who's trying to give you a tonsil exam with his tongue?

If a guy tries to feel me out before he feels me up, I usually get snapped out of the make-out dream ... unless ...

A pal of mine wanted to set me up with one of her buddies from college--the surprisingly handsome man whom we here at Living Flirtatiously call Barnaby Jepperdoom. But instead of going on an awkward blind date, I suggested he simply join some friends and me for a karaoke outing. Isn't that the best way to handle a situation like this? Because if there's no spark, there's still room for a friendship to begin. ... But is there a spark between Barnaby and me?

This advice from the President of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists could help you re-think your negative thought patterns.

This weekend, I hung out with adorable dating coach John Keegan, who was recently profiled in the New York Times. He's going to help me become a better flirt, and feel more empowered as a dater. 

does that automatically mean he's just not that into you? That he's looking to have no more than a fling? ... (Also, please see a slight correction attached to the bottom of this post.)

I love a good excuse to vamp it up! What better one than All Hallows' Eve? (What are you guys gonna wear?)

I met a guy more than a week ago at a party, asked him a flirty question, and we've been emailing about it ever since. What's the best random flirtation you've ever used?

Is it cheating if I say Javier Bardem, Javier Bardem, Javier Bardem? (Did he really just get engaged to Penelope Cruz?)