Uh, be prepared to feel personally victimized by the latest in scientific discoveries: Having thick, well-groomed brows (whether by genetics or by a 20-minute gel-pomade-pencil routine) is apparently a sign that you’re a big ol’ narcissist.
“But wait!” you cry, clutching your brows, “that doesn’t even make sense!” Hey, blame Canada. Researchers from the University of Toronto took photos of a bunch of study participants before having them complete the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (a standardized test that measures levels of narcissism). After cropping the photos so only the eyebrows were visible, the researchers showed the images to another group of people, who were able to correctly identify the narcissistic participants (as identified by their tests) based solely on their eyebrows.
The final conclusion? The more distinctive the eyebrow—in terms of grooming and thickness—the more self-centered the participant had scored on their NPI test. The authors speculated that the correlation could be due to the fact that denser brows, or well-groomed brows, naturally look more distinctive and recognizable—a trait that would be desirable to a narcissist.
“Narcissists love attention and admiration, and may maintain distinct eyebrows so that they are noticed, recognized, and remembered,” added lead study author Miranda Giacomin, PhD. “This increases their likeability and maintains their overly positive self-views.”
Of course, this doesn’t mean that filling in your brows every morning is a self-centered call to the world—some of us just really want to hide the fact that we don’t have any eyebrows, okay?—but if you’re trying to become the next Mother Theresa, maybe think twice before you tattoo some thick-ass arches onto your face. Or, you know, just do whatever the hell you want and let your bad self be. You hear that, Canada?!
Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go tint my brows in defiance.