After waiting for what felt like the entire winter, we finally saw The Fence Jump To End All Fence Jumps last week—which brings us to tonight, The Bachelor finale. We ended last week with Cassie Randolph dumping Colton Underwood because she didn't feel ready, and we kicked off this week with Colton trudging angrily through the Portuguese countryside, flanked by Chris Harrison. It may not have been The Most Dramatic Season Ever that we're promised each and every season (I love you, Chris, but c'mon), but that finale was...well, it lived up to even Chris' promises.
First, we saw Colton reflecting on what had happened the night before, and how he'd fallen in love with Cassie and remained only in the "falling" stage with Hannah G. and Tayshia. (Oh, Hannah G., who never even got a date in Portugal. Oh, dear.) He knew what he had to do, he said—Colton made clear to Chris that he didn't feel like his life was complete without Cassie, and only Cassie—and then promptly went to Tayshia's hotel room to break up with her. He cried. She cried. They turned the cameras off, but in true Bachelor fashion, we heard a lot of muffled breathing sounds through the door anyway. Then he went off to do the same to Hannah G. I mean, it was a lot.
But if you were overwhelmed, just remember the memes! The memes.
Poor Hannah G.!
Tayshia Deserves Better
Does This...Make Sense?
Colton's Hair, Wyd?
The Real Question!
You Were Going to Call the Cops, Chris? Really?
Sure, Chris. Whatever you say.
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