Riz Ahmed Put Every Husband to Shame at the Oscars

Riz Ahmed just won’t let us breathe tonight. Firstly, the nauseatingly handsome actor dared to step out onto the Oscars red carpet in a black Prada suit paired with a black shirt and satin cummerbund that perfectly hugged his upper body–that alone sent me into a tailspin. And then, he posed with his wife, the novelist Fatima Farheen Mirza, with a gaze that put all other men to shame. Just when I thought I could come up for air, he turned to Mizra and fixed her hair, telling the photographers on the step and repeat, “I’m the official groomer.” Am I well within my rights to sue this man?

He’s so sweet I’m sick! And get this, he’s literally always like this. In an interview with Jimmy Fallon, the Oscar-nominated Sound of Metal star revealed that he met his wife in a meet-cute straight out of a romance novel. Apparently, he met Mizra at a coffee shop while “jostling over the same laptop plug points,” after which I imagine they locked eyes and dramatic music swelled in the background. And now, Ahmed revealed to the other late night Jimmy–Kimmel this time–that he proposed to Mizra using Scrabble tiles.

“We went out to the park, one of the few things we could do at that point in lockdown … We kind of had a little picnic and, you know, I popped the question.” Indeed, he did “that corny thing where I stole all the correct letters up and spelled out will you marry me?’” he told Kimmel.

To which Mizra replied, “you’re joking.” Not sure how she kept her cool during that moment, she must be our strongest soldier.