Tracee Ellis Ross Reflects on "Grief" Over Not Marrying or Having Kids, and Reveals Why She Prefers Dating Younger Men
"I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not."
Tracee Ellis Ross has had a dextrous life and career to date, but that doesn't mean she's totally without regrets. Like any woman, Ross has made difficult choices, some of which involved her romantic life and whether she'd start a family. In a new interview on Michelle Obama's IMO podcast, Ross got candid about "grieving" certain aspects of life she didn't experience, and revealed why she prefers dating younger men.
During her appearance on IMO With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, the 52-year-old Blackish actress explained (via People), "A lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been raised in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks." She continued, "Anything that starts to smell of that for me—I did enough of it where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession or a prize—I just have no interest in it. And I will not do it again."
Ross also praised what she perceived to be an "openness" in younger men, saying, "I have long been past the age where I feel like it's my job to teach somebody or grow them up. That, I'm not interested in."
The Black Mirror star noted that, despite loving her life, she also "grieved" certain milestones she didn't reach—something many people contend with as they age. "I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not," Ross said during her podcast appearance. "I'm not married. I don't have children, and I think I grieve that at times."
However, Ross refuses to settle, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. "As much grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn't want the wrong partner," she noted. "I'm not interested in that."
"I still wouldn't want the wrong partner."
As for what she is looking for in a romantic relationship, Ross told the hosts, "You have to make my life better. It can't just be, 'I'm in a relationship to be in a relationship.' So even though the grief does emerge and that comes and I hold that, I think of what I've done." She continued, "I wake up every morning trying to do my best. I didn't wake up one morning and be like, 'I'm going to mess this day up.' So I must be where I'm supposed to be."
