1. While some people get excited about what clothes they're going to wear for the day, you're more into the three meals you'll be choosing to eat. What will it be today? Tacos? Burgers? Spaghetti?? Sartorial choices < cuisine choices.
2. Speaking of clothes, you know exactly what to wear to hide food babies. Ah the trapeze dress, my old friend.
3. Like Beyoncé, you always have hot sauce in your bag. Along with pretty much any other condiments. And granola bars. And chocolate. And just snacks in general.
4. You're a sucker for a smoky eye, because honestly a bold lip just takes too long to reapply after meals. #BeautyTip
5. When traveling with others, you let them plan basically everything—except the food. Should we go to the James Beard award place? Or the one with the famous biscuits? If we hit up two restaurants for brunch and get one savory dish and one sweet dish is that acceptable??
6. You absolutely don't understand people who say they "forgot to eat." Why/who/what/where/how?
7. People (AKA men) often don't believe that you eat as much as you say. #TellEmBoyBye
8. You could spend 4 hours in a grocery store if, you know, you didn't have other shit to do. Can a girl just live and look at cheese all day??
9. You're constantly inventing new ways to eat food because isn't that the spice of life? Grilled cheese and pickles, please.
10. Like the Planeteers, your power is much stronger when combined...with food. You can be on the brink of madness/exhaustion/death and that can all be changed with a burger and some french fries.
11. Like Liz Lemon, you truly wish people trying to hit on you could buy you some food instead of a drink. Honestly, it'd get you much further, my friend.
12. When people ask what you want to do, you always have the same response—"let's go out to eat."
13. But when people ask you what you like to do for fun, you don't really have an acceptable answer.
14. If you're a lady with a larger chest, you know that Bra Crumbs are very real. Who's going to invent a bra crumb-catcher? Anyone?
15. The best compliment you can give us? "You have a really healthy appetite." Damn straight.
16. Those Pinterest food hacks aren't for show. You truly use them in everyday life.
17. Sometimes you hurry up and go to sleep while thinking about what you'll be having for breakfast. Also, you wait until the very last minute to brush your teeth, because ugh, what if you want a midnight snack? That is a commitment.
18. When Ben and Jerry's/Häagen-Dazs/other ice cream companies introduced those mini, one-serving-size cups, you were all like LOL. What is this? Ice cream for ants?
19. Some people might look down on a buffet, while *you* understand that it's a blessing from the gods. So many choices. So blessed. So moved. So grateful.
20. You may or may not do a little dance prior to/during/after eating. FOOD MAKES YOU HAPPY OKAY? See:
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Samantha Leal is the Deputy Editor at Well+Good, where she spends most of her day thinking of new ideas across platforms, bringing on new writers, overseeing the day-to-day of the website, and working with the awesome team to produce the best stories and packages. Before W+G, she was the Senior Web Editor for Marie Claire and the Deputy Editor for Latina.com, with bylines all over the internet. Graduating from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University with a minor in African history, she’s written everything from travel guides to political op-eds to wine explainers (currently enrolled in the WSET program) to celebrity profiles. Find her online pretty much everywhere @samanthajoleal.
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