Recasted: Who Would Star in a Clueless Remake?

Who gets to be the virgin who can't drive?!

For better or worse, Hollywood is really into remakes right now. But instead of viewing this trend as annoying and cynical, what if we really leaned into it and used it as an opportunity to rebuild the classics from scratch, making them even more perfect? It is in that spirit that presents Recasted, which dares to wonder, “Who would we want to see in this iconic film today?” Think of it as Fantasy Football mixed with your annual Oscar Pool.

It seems like lately Hollywood has been living in a teenage dream. I don’t mean the jarringly good hordes of talent who are indefinitely waiting in the wings of the A24 casting offices, ready with an acceptance speech, should the occasion call for it. (Lookin' at you, Saoirse! You'll get that Oscar, girl!)

No, I mean that other tier of celebrity: Teens who have been creating conversation with their delightfully buzzy shows, movies, and Netflix projects—the fledgling stars who are always popping up when you refresh your Instagram feed. Hollywood is great for them right now, because while they won't necessarily get a permanent seat at The Hollywood Reporter roundtable, they get cast in the fun movies—the ones that turn into cult classics. And when you think of fun, cult-classic movies, you pretty much have to think of the iconic 1995 teen film Clueless. Like, is there a better movie? Period? As if.

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In this week’s Recasted, let’s take the stars that launched a thousand stan accounts and see just where they’d fit in the glitzy, ditzy Beverly Hills of Cher Horowitz and friends. Who are you shipping and who would you take shopping?

Cher Horowitz

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Original: Alicia Silverstone

Recasted: Lili Reinhart

Preeminent teen du jour Lili Reinhart is popping up everywhere these days, from magazine pages to award shows to the Following tab of every teenager’s Instagram. It seems that 2018 is the Reign of Reinhart and no one is complaining. Why shouldn’t it be? She’s talented, both onscreen and off: When she’s not starring as both Good and Dark Betty on Riverdale, she’s being incredibly relatable online. If there’s anyone who can conjure the goofy, earnest, Cali-girl-with-a-heart-of-gold vibe of Cher, it’s this millennial leader.

Dionne Davenport

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Original: Stacey Dash

Recasted: Zendaya

If we ever create time travel, can we go back and just replace Stacey Dash with Zendaya in the original? Zendaya is wise beyond her years, smart, and something tells me the chemistry she’ll have with Lili could replicate—nay, surpass—the magic that was Dionne and Cher’s friendship. Also, Stacey Dash is a vocal Trump supporter, which is just not the vibe! Sorry!

Tai Fraiser

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Original: Brittany Murphy

Recasted: Alyson Stoner

Perhaps best known for being the little girl in those Missy Elliott music videos (a personal goal of mine, TBH), Stoner’s reintroducing herself to the world slowly but surely. Her kid-at-heart persona is an essential for playing Tai, but her maturity and growth will help flesh out this character (almost) as wonderfully as Brittany Murphy did. Besides, after years of being out of the spotlight for a bit, she deserves the great Hollywood honor of getting to deliver the iconic line, “You're a virgin who can’t drive.” It’s the LEAST WE CAN DO FOR HER.

Josh Luca

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Original: Paul Rudd

Recasted: Nick Robinson

Nick Robinson is best known for his role at the titular Simon in Love, Simon, in which he stole everyone’s heart and increased the sale of Kleenex by roughly 5,000 percent. Robinson’s totally got the young Paul Rudd charm, and we’d be excited to watch him flex a more sarcastic muscle with this character. But, I mean, Paul Rudd could also completely play this role still, since he seems to lack the ability to age?

Christian Stovitz

Original: Justin Walker

Recasted: Troye Sivan

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Troye Sivan is low-key serving us old-Hollywood talent: He can sing Top 40, act, and even dance. Sivan’s already coming in hot this year with his new album Bloom, so why not raise the temperature a few degrees by showing up in a new movie as well? Who knows, maybe he’ll even be able to dream up a fun original song that could go along with the movie. (Plus, wouldn’t it be refreshing to see a gay actor actually play a gay character for a change? What a concept, right?)

You can follow Danny Murphy on Instagram at @kashmerecardigan.

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