

Ever since the modern red carpet became a mega-fancy, never-ending game of Settlers of Catan, there are certain things we can absolutely expect to see and things we would *like* to see. For instance, you could safely bet your bottom dollar on the appearance of a mermaid hem. But a 3-D-printed Iris van Herpen that looks like insects' wings? Not so much.
Because Ol' Hollyweed is so reliable but still up for a little calculated risk—every year we pray for a farthingale—the 2017 awards-show season is perfect for bingo, a game retirees in Boca like to play before eating a buffet of soft foods at 4 p.m. Print out the board below, or keep track on your phone and a separate sheet of paper, we don't care. As you watch, mark down any sightings, preferably with a stamp-y pen that would also be really good for dispensing blush. First one to five in a row wins the satisfaction of shouting "BINGO!!!!!" and startling all her friends, who just wanted to watch the Emmys in peace for once, GAWD, CHELSEA.
Note: This board also doubles as a lo-fi drinking game: You could perhaps take a sip for every square, or a shot, if you have a death wish.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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