You know how lots of fashion guides are like three pictures of vaguely similar things, united by titles that are puns? (NOT GUILTY.) This is not that—this is all the most pertinent information about the top trends for Fall 2017 with none about the stuff you'll never actually wear. Really.
If you watched Kingsman and thought, "Hmm, sure wish I had oxfords with a retractable blade," you're in luck. You could definitely hurt someone with Balenciaga's knife-point boots and mules—they do not have literal metal bits in them, make no mistake—or with any of the other very sharp footwear available to buy now, at every price point.
Shop similar: Balenciaga, $2,990
BUY IT: bergdorfgoodman.com.
Dries van Noten
One Pantsuit Nation, indivisible. As fashion's love affair with the matched set continues, we stray further and further from its Wall Street roots toward the Edwardians and teddy boys and romantic heroines. Check out the blush on this Nina Ricci, for example.
Shop similar: Zimmermann, $1,600
BUY IT: saksfifthavenue.com.
Once again, your Nana (or her couch) is a style icon, though not in a cobwebby, old-school Olsen way. This time, it's all about patchwork, quilt squares, nubby knits with more cables than your actual gran's TV, and the pleasantly musty smell of Tradition...turned on its head, as seen here at Public School.
Shop similar: Coach skirt, $795
BUY IT: coach.com.
Dolce & Gabbana
As extra as we are. Coats remain the part of your wardrobe you should perhaps spend the most on, given that, for half (or more) of the year, they are what define your look. As we enter fall, think long and lean in a macintosh-ish shape like this guy from Vuitton, and topped off with a belt.
Shop similar: Topshop, $210
BUY IT: topshop.com.
There's probably some correlation between skirt lengths and the economic climate, so what does the decidedly walkable but not-so-showoff-y nature of the midi—this one's Valentino—say about the times? Dunno, but the more fabric, the better—and maybe some sheerness too.
Similarly, the more classic the print, the more nostalgic we are for the comfort of the past? Coping techniques aside, checks and plaids will never be solidly *out* for autumn. But this season, get 'em in weird, acidic colors and even weirder, unexpected shapes.
Shop similar: Stella McCartney Jacket, $1,495
BUY IT: stellamccartney.com.
Power. Passion. Does this fidget spinner come in crimson? (No? But this Giambattista Valli daydream does.)
Shop similar: Giambattista Valli, $1,531
BUY IT: mytheresa.com.
Dolce & Gabbana
Now, onto the next most crucial category: trousers. Can I still wear skinny jeans? Yes, but ask yourself this: Does it feel as right as something baggier, with a bit more room in the trunk? Though our vote goes toward phasing out super-slender silhouettes with no new element like a front split, unlike what's shown here at Jonathan Simkhai, do what you want. At least in the fall.
Fenty x Puma
Alice + Olivia