By Rich Santos published
The other day I was telling my buddy how I hit on this really cute girl. Of course, to lame people like us, "hitting" on a girl means just talking to her for five minutes. But hey-you gotta start somewhere, right?
So, after I told him the story, he asked me a question that I realized I wish I knew how to answer. He said:
"Well, did she like it?"
It was sad to realize that I really don't when the girl "likes it".
And, furthermore, when do I call off the dogs if a girl doesn't like it?
I hold back in a lot of situations because I just assume the girl is not into it. I'm hoping that you can give me a little insight into knowing when a girl is into me-can I tell from just situational or visual cues?
Does she want me to make a move if she's in my bed?
My friends get mad at me when I don't' make a move on a girl
when she ends up in my bed. I just think to myself: "what if she just wanted to crash at my apartment," or "what if she just wants to lay in bed and talk?"
Am I ruining my chances by assuming that a girl does not want me to make a move even if she ends up in my bed? Perhaps I'm just thinking that the consequences of looking too shy are a lot better than touching a girl when she does not want to be touched.
How do I know if she enjoys talking to me?
I am lucky because I don't have too much difficulty talking to girls. I'm very talkative and, although I lack a filter, I'm working on remembering girls I hit on are not my buddies...yet.
The whole time I'm talking to a girl, I'm wondering if she is enjoying my conversation or if she wants to be somewhere else. I pay very close attention to her eyes-just to make sure they aren't wandering. As soon as her friends approach or interrupt us I fear that there was a conspiracy (maybe she told her friends if she makes some sort of covert signal that they must come rescue her from any stupid guy that is trying to hit on her). I've got this awful fear of any girl I talk to trying to find a way to escape after five minutes.
When is it safe to kiss a girl goodnight?
This is a much smaller scale discussion than the bed one, but I am even afraid to freak a girl out if I lean in for a kiss if she doesn't want one. So awkward. I have never had a girl shy away from a kiss goodnight because I make sure that she's 150% ready to kiss, so that I don't have to deal with the rejection. I waited two months to kiss my serious high school girlfriend goodnight-and I only did so after she finally said something. I guess I wasn't sure if we were hanging out as friends, or if we were hanging out as more.
I would like to say I can tell when a date has been great and I just know she wants a kiss. But I never know what the hell a girl is thinking. And, I just have to assume that whatever I'm thinking is incorrect, so the safest action is no action at all.
I guess I want you to help me understand what signals from girls are positive and which are negative.
Is it body language? Is it something she'll say? Or do women have different ways of telling guys to get closer to them? Am I actually doing the right thing by playing it safe until I'm completely sure a girl wants me closer to her?
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