Humankind is united in its quest for love. But it's so crazy how people can't figure out what it really is or how it works. (opens in new tab) I've thought about love just about every day of my life and I'm no closer to solving the mystery. Here are some of the common questions I've considered, and my attempts at answers:
What does it feel like?
When I fall in love, will I get a giant energy boost, start seeing the glass eternally full, try new and exciting things, and get less annoyed at trivial issues? Will I be confused? Overwhelmed? Frightened?
I think a lot of that will happen-but I really don't want to become annoyingly too into it like those people on the eHarmony commercials. (opens in new tab) I expect the rush of emotion to change me, but I can only pray that I remain cool with the whole thing. Otherwise, my friends will not want to be around me and my significant other.
Will it suddenly hit me, or will it be a gradual process?
People have told me different things about falling in love. I'm told I'm going to eventually meet someone, and it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. Then again, the one time I thought I was in love, I had been dating my girlfriend for a while, and I woke up one day and said to myself: "wow, I really love this girl."
I hear stories about people spotting someone in a crowd (opens in new tab) and somehow just knowing they were going to end up together, meaning "love at first sight," is a possibility.
Should I look for it, or should I let it find me?
I get so much conflicting advice about this too: stop looking so hard for love, and it will happen. Then I'm told: you need to get out there and make an effort and things will break right.
A friend recently told me that she didn't like to go out with guys unless it looked like it would turn into something serious, (opens in new tab) indicating she was seeking love. However, I would like to think that love finds us. We meet people, something happens at the right time-like the perfect storm of chemistry (opens in new tab), timing and circumstance-and we fall in love. (opens in new tab)
So, under that thinking, love will find us whether we like it or not.
Does it last forever, or can it die?
I used to believe that love lasted forever. But I see a lot of people fall out of love. (opens in new tab)Perhaps people that fall out of love were never truly in love, they just thought they were. If true love lasts forever, then it should be impossible to fall out of love.
Is it possible to find true love with more than one person?
Even though Dracula chronicles a creepy blood-sucking freak, the story is remarkably romantic. Dracula is eternally searching to find his true love, and he will stop at nothing. He even navigates through time. One has to wonder why he doesn't justmeet someone in his own town (opens in new tab)/time-it would be a lot more practical.
Unlike Dracula, regular people are able to love more than one person. If we are able to fall out of love, then we are certainly able to move on and love someone else. Maybe the love is different; you love the person for different reasons, or in a different way. So, don't tell yourself that you will never love another person after a breakup. You can, and you probably will. (opens in new tab)
How will I know she's the one?
I'm hoping it's obvious when I meet The One. I'll stop wondering what my friends are up to when I'm with her. I'll become motivated to improve a lot of areas of my life, and my priorities will change. I'll want her to be with me when I watch stupid TV or maybe even when I watch football with the guys. (opens in new tab)Well, maybe not-but if she's The One, I'll probably at least consider it.
But married people have told me they were "wondering what the hell they were doing," while they were walking down the aisle at their wedding. Will there always bethat other side of the fence beckoning me, (opens in new tab)even if I'm with "The One"?
How would you answer the questions I've asked, and what questions do you have about love?
Hey! Follow me on Twitter! You have the right to know that I didn't shower at all this past weekend.
www.twitter.com/richravens (opens in new tab)
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