Was the Date with Elevator Man a Success?

He is certainly a good flirt himself. In fact, I even picked up some techniques that might be helpful for the men out there. But...did we hit it off? And was my confidence shattered — or shored up? Read on to find out.

Well, my darlings, there is good news and bad news about the date with Elevator Man (opens in new tab).

Let's start with the good, shall we? He's a mensch, a sweetheart, the kind of person who makes a girl say Really, it's NOT such a cruel, cruel dating world out there! He was perfectly easy to talk to and full of stories. We had a really nice dinner out in the back garden of a little restaurant, protected from the thunder, lightning and pouring rain of that night by a few large umbrellas--and the incredibly adorable team of young Italians working there.

Even better: at one point, Elevator Man (opens in new tab) mentioned what incredibly great shape I was in--which is a far better way of putting it than is telling me I have an "athletic" body (opens in new tab). When I said, "Really?" He said, "Oh yeah, you look like you're fit as hell. And your skin too--it's smooth and creamy--it makes you look even more healthy." I was about ready to rocket out of my seat with happiness about that, because I try to take very good care of my epidermis. Another compliment Elevator Man (opens in new tab) paid me concerned the ring I was wearing--a big round piece of cloudy lavender amethyst, shaped like a pin cushion, with a smaller diamond of bright purple amethyst set on top of it; he said he loved it, and wanted to know if it was an antique.*

NOTE TO READERS!: Giving a woman compliments about specific aspects of her appearance is an excellent flirting technique! The specificity makes them feel sincere. And a bigger, more encompassing statement like "You're so adorable!" or "You're gorgeous!" might be embarrassing to hear, and difficult to respond to; it might also come off as an exaggeration--or a white lie. So, for readers of both sexes, I think it's wise to be specific with your flattery. An added bonus: Your date won't think you're coming on too strong.

(But surely, guys, I don't have to tell you that something like "Wow! What enormous breasts you have!" is not going to go over well. Stick to remarks that feel safe--the kind of things you might say to your grandmother--until you've gone on a few dates and built up a level of comfort and familiarity. Then you can tell her she has huge hooters!**)

The bad news?

We did not fall in mad love.

But I enjoyed an evening with a kind, smart person, and we swapped stories about our struggles to find love and success and contentment.

Time well-spent, don't you think?

I certainly don't regret it.

I certainly am, however, more convinced than ever I'm not going to find someone.

But that's okay.

xxx

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*The truth is, I must've bought the thing at some point when I was in college, at some hippie store--the kind where they probably also sold patchouli oils and incense and wind chimes--and I doubt I paid more than $40 for it.

**Kidding. Kidding!