The beginning stages of a new relationship are the best because it's full of giddiness and no one is sure of what's going to happen. It's that unknown that makes this stage of a relationship exciting.
But this same unknown makes the beginning stages of a relationship scary. That unsure stage is full of questions. And the more I ponder these questions as the relationship continues, the more I begin to freak out. Here are the things that scare me in the beginning of a relationship:
She's Going To Get Bored
There has to be some point along the way where she gets used to it, and the boredom sets in. Can I overcome that?
She'll Think I'm Coming On Too Strong At Some Point
Usually, there's a lot of communication in the beginning. So we text randomness to each other, etc. But sometimes I over-analyze and look at what I'm sending and how often-do I want to send two in a row? Do we have to text every day at first? I don't want her thinking I'm getting too into it too quickly.
She's Seeing Someone Else
In the beginning, anything is fair, even seeing other people. So, while we are getting more in to each other, I wonder when we are going to hit that "exclusive point".Until then, I guess I'm not allowed to get mad if she's seeing other guys.
She's In To One of My Friends
It's a Catch-22: I want the girl I'm dating to like my friends, but it's still so early in our relationship, she might be in to one of them as well. That's major paranoia on my part, I admit.
I Did Something To Make Her Not Like Me
This usually happens when she takes too long to text/call back or she seems distant. Early on in the relationship, it's possible for one statement or event to turn the other person's affection on a dime. So, I"ll often analyze what I might have said or done to make her possibly not want to see me anymore.
The First Kiss Ruined Everything
I'm a proponent of building up to that first kiss, but that sets a high bar. During the first kiss, you're competing against all the other guys she's kissed, and responsible for making the moment special...it's a culmination of the time you've been spending together. But this is often the final compatibility test, and It's completely valid for people to kiss and not feel anything.
She Just Wants To Be Friends
And after she doesn't feel anything after a kiss, the next logical move is to be "just friends". But even if you're not at kissing stage yet, there's a period of time in the beginning that is walking the fine line between "friends," and "more than friends" stage. It doesn't' help that women universally tell me (when I go on a date with one of their friends), she just wanted to get together as friends and see what it was like.
I Don't Really Like Her
Yeah, I'm going on dates, but do I really like her, and am I really this into it? The longer you date, the more responsibility there is to act rational and sane (in other words, suddenly changing your feelings is out of the question after some point).
This Is The End
Let's say I do like her, and it's progressing. Do I really want to commit? I guess that's the step us guys struggle with the most. It's pretty fun and easy to be hanging out/dating casually with the allowance of meeting other girls.
The beginning of a relationship is so sensitive, there's plenty to worry about. You're trying to get through all the hurdles and bumps to the point of clear sailing. But it's not so easy.
What do you worry about in the beginning stages of a relationship, and do you agree with my list?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens
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