Just like any stupid guy, I made the mistake of generalizing women based on a few experiences. A reader reached out to me in the wake of my post and posed an interesting question:
"How do you explain your insanity?"
At first I thought, when do men exibit insane behavior? Aren't we the masters of practicality? I reflected and realized that I do have my cranky moments and random outbursts of anger — though they are few and far between, I must say.
When I thought about what causes this stress and anger, I was shocked that I too have insane reasons for explaining my behavior. So, I'm going to even up the score.
Here are my insane reasons for male crankiness:
My Sports Team Lost
Football can be brutal. First of all it's on a Sunday, so all night after the Ravens lose, I'm left with a toxic feeling of dreading work and lamenting why we didn't pass on that crucial 4th and 1 instead of running. I go to sleep thinking about the game. I wake up thinking about the game. Just like a physical injury, it hurts more the next day. And then I have the awful duty of going to baltimoresun.com and perusing the fallout about the disastrous game.
The Orioles and Maryland Terps make me just as miserable when they lose (which happens quite often). I can't do anything — even smile. I do my best not to be mean to a girl I'm dating, but sometimes I take it out on her.
I Haven't Masturbated for a full ten minutes
Sure, I'm exaggerating, but guys do go nuts when we don't satisfy ourselves at a reasonable rate. Just think back to the old Seinfeld episode when the characters try to see who can go longest without masturbating. Everyone ends up quite irritable by the end of the episode.
Work's Got Me Down
Work is universally annoying and frustrating. Why can't we leave our anger and frustration in the office? It's irrational that I'd be cranky toward someone who has absolutely nothing to do with work, but it happens.
Not Enough Time To Myself
Seems like it's more logical to get annoyed that you haven't gotten to do anything fun for a while. But I need time to decompress. Decompressing for me is reading dumb stuff on Wikipedia, baltimoresun.com sports, coffee, watching dumb TV, relaxing on the couch, coffee, coffee, cooking, and more coffee.
When a girl wants to see me, I obviously like it, but I can get cranky if I don't get enough time to do nothing on my own.
I'm Lost
I get lost all the time but, because I always think I know a way out, I get annoyed when a girl suggests I ask someone or use a map.
Ultimately, it seems that men and women get cranky over pretty minor things. Most often, things could be worse.It's strange that we then take out this anger on the person we love most. Perhaps we know we can do it, but it's still not right.
Do you agree with my guy reasons above? What would you add to the list?
