
Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!
Thank you for signing up to Marie Claire. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
We've heard it (and said it) a million times: confidence is sexy. But how do you deal when you're lacking in that department? We asked members of Marie Claire Ask & Answer — Marie Claire's online Q&A community for dating, sex, and relationship advice — for their secrets to appearing confident and sexy. "This is one of those areas where you start out faking it, but as you go along, you feel more capable of handling situations, and hence become more confident," Answerology member logash365 says. How to fake it until you make it:
Secret #1: Stand Up Straight. Slouching has never done anyone's appearance any favors, so before you can speak and flirt with confidence, you need to look the part. Your mother was right. Now, shoulders back and chin up! And, silver75 adds, "Smile and look people in their eyes when you talk to them."
Secret #2: Speak Softy. "Don't raise your voice," says logash365. "A soft but firm voice will give the impression that you are in control of yourself and the situation." You don't have to be the loudest person in the room to come across as self-assured. Get them to lean in close instead.
Secret #3: Be Positive. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all — resist the urge to complain in order to fill an awkward silence. "Do not go on and on about how much you have to do, how little time there is, etc.," says logash365. That attitude "indicates that you are struggling to maintain control." Don't have much to say? Ask questions until the frog in your throat goes on its way. It's much more attractive to be a good listener than to be the rain on everyone's parade.
Secret #4: Don't Try Too Hard. Trying too hard to please when it comes to dating is a telltale sign of low confidence, says 7zebras. "No matter how much you like the person you are dating act as if they were a good friend," he advises. "Think of it this way," he says. "You and your good friend are going out for a drink. Do you buy a dozen roses, rent a limo, and spend $300 on dinner? Probably not." A certain amount of wooing is nice when you're dating, but resist the urge to overcompensate and go overboard too soon. Ask for a second opinion from a friend if you're prone to grand romantic gestures that only succeed in John Cusack movies.
Marie Claire Newsletter
Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!
-
Cody Rigsby Has the Most Relatable Fictional Crush
"I just think he could really like throw you around in the bedroom."
By Brooke Knappenberger
-
Paris Fashion Week’s Street Style Is Paying Due Respect to Beauty
Hair clips, nail art, and piercings round out fashion month’s circuit.
By Samantha Holender
-
Ava Phillippe Wears Ethereal White to Stella McCartney’s Paris Fashion Week Show
She added a clutch and snakeskin sandals to complete the look.
By Rachel Burchfield
-
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
By Kayleigh Roberts
-
The 82 Best Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
By The Editors
-
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
By Abigail Pesta
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
-
COVID Uncoupling
How the pandemic has mutated our most personal disunions.
By Gretchen Voss
-
16 At-Home Date Ideas When You're Stuck Indoors
Staying in doesn't have to be boring.
By Katherine J. Igoe
-
Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas for Couples Who've Made It This Far
Alexa, play "A Thousand Miles."
By Jaimie Potters
-
15 Couples on How 2020 Rocked Their Relationship
Couples confessed to Marie Claire how this year's many multi-stressors tested the limits of their love.
By Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW