
Flight of the Conchords' Kristen Schaal and her boyfriend, Daily Show writer Rich Blomquist, share a hilarious (and filthy) sense of humor, as evidenced in their fantastically funny new love manual, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. In it, the self-proclaimed sexperts offer "pubescaping" tips, stock "Cupid's toolbox," and suggest these can't-miss pick-up lines for every possible romantic situation:
If you just performed the Heimlich maneuver on someone: If I were that chicken bone, I wouldn't have wanted to come out, either.
Interoffice romance, chance meeting in stationery closet: Are you a pink eraser? Because I'd like to make a mistake and rub you all over.
If you just performed CPR on someone: I just saved your life. Will you save me a dance?
Birthday party: Are you a birthday candle? Because I'd like to blow you until I get my wish.
All other situations: You better call 911 because my fantasy just mugged my wildest dreams. Also, I'm staring at a suspicious love package left by a sex terrorist!
If you're Prince William: Hi, I'm Prince William.
-
Khloé Kardashian Does Not "Miss Her Old Face," She'll Have You Know
She looks great, which is not a reason to apologize.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Lizzo Just Launched Gender-Affirming Shapewear: "We Support Every Body"
And I thought I couldn't love her any more.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Gwyneth Paltrow Whispered "I Wish You Well" to the Plaintiff After Winning $1 Claim in Their Ski Crash Trial
Incredible. Amazing. Iconic.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The Best Period Sex Tips, According to Sex Experts
Who says messy can't be sexy?
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The 14 Best Lubes of All Time
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors
-
75 Real Sex Scenes in Movies
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors