Flight of the Conchords' Kristen Schaal and her boyfriend, Daily Show writer Rich Blomquist, share a hilarious (and filthy) sense of humor, as evidenced in their fantastically funny new love manual, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. In it, the self-proclaimed sexperts offer "pubescaping" tips, stock "Cupid's toolbox," and suggest these can't-miss pick-up lines for every possible romantic situation:
If you just performed the Heimlich maneuver on someone: If I were that chicken bone, I wouldn't have wanted to come out, either.
Interoffice romance, chance meeting in stationery closet: Are you a pink eraser? Because I'd like to make a mistake and rub you all over.
If you just performed CPR on someone: I just saved your life. Will you save me a dance?
Birthday party: Are you a birthday candle? Because I'd like to blow you until I get my wish.
All other situations: You better call 911 because my fantasy just mugged my wildest dreams. Also, I'm staring at a suspicious love package left by a sex terrorist!
If you're Prince William: Hi, I'm Prince William.