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How To Lose A Guy in 4 Ways

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How To Lose A Guy in 4 Ways

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Remora

I'm a terrible flyer but, if a hot girl sits next to me on a plane, I suddenly forget all my fears. Never happens. There are few things that hotness can't fix. But, even for guys, there are some characteristics in women that cancel out hotness.

Dating is difficult because we build pre-conceived notions throughout our experience. Because most guys are jerks, women are conditioned to expect a good guy to turn in to one. Similarly, men are conditioned to expect certain characteristics to surface in women.

If women fear that a guy will turn out to be a jerk, men fear that a woman may turn out to have one of the following four traits:

Insanity

College was so great. Where else can you walk along have a beautiful girl from one of your classes beckon you from her room? It happened to me but, as is usually the case, I had too much conversation instead of just making out when I got in there. That conversation took a frightening turn when the girl launched into tirades about her childhood and her family. She was so bitter, she was bent on retribution against all who crossed her. So, even though this girl was "Miss November" in this cheesy Girls of University of Delaware calendar, I jumped out of the bed and ran to my dorm with my tail between my legs. When I told my buddies why I didn't hook up with this beauty, they were totally OK with my reasoning. In retrospect, I wonder if she just played crazy to get rid of me.

Insanity ranges from slightly weird to full on bunny-boiling insane. If a guy thinks he will lose a pet, or his genitals after breakup if he misbehaves, it doesn't matter how hot a girl is: he'll get out of there.

Talking Too Much

If total insanity hits us like a tornado, talking too much is like a bunch of pins and needles pricking us all over our bodies. Don't get me wrong, it's fine for people to talk. But when it's useless fluff that turns into white noise, it drives a guy crazy. My buddy at work went home with a girl on a saturday night and on Monday, he looked all depressed as if he had just gotten run over by a bus.

I said: "she talked too much on Sunday morning didn't she? She didn't stop talking."

He said: "yup."

Clinginess

There are only a few relationships on this earth that don't require space. One such relationship occurs in the water. There are fish called remora that swim along with sharks while cleaning them. Every little move the shark makes, that remora follows as if it's actually attached to the shark. Annoying! Don't be a remora to your guy. It will drive him away. Yeah, I get my dating tips from Shark Week on Discovery Channel.

Nagging

No one likes to be told what to do. What's worse than that? Being told what to do over an over again. It's fine to expect a boyfriend to help out with things, but don't harp on the same thing too often. We work differently than women. While it looks like we are not concentrating, or even listening, we may have the job under control in our mind, and we'll get around to it.

These four characteristics are so deadly for a relationship becuase guys are waiting for one of these things to surface in a girlfriend. In fact, after we've had enough unsuccessful relationships, we look for women who are not that much of a nag, not that insane, or don't talk that much. Even if a girl is hot, if a guy mentions any of the above characteristics, his friends will say: "oh, yeah, I understand why you got out of there."

Of course, there are plenty of women out there who are totally normal. If I am going to concede that 90% of guys are jerks, I will say that perhaps 50% of women have one of these four characteristics above. It's a good thing when a guy thinks of a long future with you, but if he sees a future including any of the above four elements, he won't stick around long.

Did you know that guys are sensitive to these four character traits? What character traits do women expect or fear that are automatic deal breakers?

Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

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