In today’s WTF-worthy news, a big ol’ sheet mask for your vagina exists, and I have some thoughts. Namely, why? Followed by, really? And, of course, what the hell? No, it’s not a joke; it’s a legitimate product called Black Out from the brand Two L(i)ps—yes, that’s really the name—and it’s a charcoal-based, serum-soaked sheet mask for your vulva. Oh, and it’s $25 per mask.
The mask itself, according to the website, is “the world’s first infrared-activated charcoal mask for your vulva.” And, honestly, I’m sure that’s true. What does it mean, though? Welp, apparently, it just means the sheet mask is filled with charcoal, and, from what I can tell, absolutely zero radiation, which is good. The ingredients list is fairly innocuous—water, aloe extract, squalane, charcoal, licorice, hyaluronic acid, etc. Basically, it’s just like a normal mask you’d put on your face, except triple the size, and with sticky wings that adhere to the inside of your legs.
According to The Sun, which actually tested the Black Out, the sheet mask felt “cooling and soothing,” and left the tester’s vulva “not just fresh and soft,” but also soothed the irritation from her recent wax. You’re apparently supposed to leave the mask on for 15 mins while the formula “soothes, detoxifies, brightens and moisturizes the vulva, with the help of infrared activated charcoal to boost lymphatic drainage.”
Uh, yeah, I’m here to remind you that your vagina doesn’t need any of that. It’s a self-cleaning, self-regulating machine that’s perfect the way it is—it doesn’t need drainage, and it definitely doesn’t need to be detoxified or brightened.
Sure, the moisturizing and soothing properties of aloe vera and water are fine for your bikini line if you absolutely feel like you need them, but there’s no reason why you should be slathering charcoal-spiked serums around your vulva (or, let’s be honest, your vagina—since there’s no way a juice-soaked mask isn’t going to seep everywhere over the course of 15 minutes).
Still, if you do choose to try this mask, I can’t stop you. It’s your vulva! Do what you want! But I’d still highly recommend you chat with your OBGYN, first. Or, at the very least, buy the single mask pack instead of the box of five (for $110) to test it out and see how you feel. Yay, 2018!