Vagina Makeup Exists, Because This Is the World We Live in Now
And we kind of want it?
Remember how proud you were last week when you finally mastered a basic contour-and-highlighter situation without looking like a tricked-out unicorn? (We're proud of you, by the way). Welp, dig out your learning hat, because a new round of highlighters and skin-beautifiers just hit the market, and we're pretty sure you're going to need a training session.
We'd like to introduce you to The Perfect V, a Scandinavian beauty brand devoted solely to your wonderful and awe-inspiring vagina. Or, more specifically, your vulva.
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Although the brand doesn't actually define its big, omnipotent "V" anywhere on the site, it does describe it as "that pretty little triangle sometimes neat, at other times unruly, but always perfect and unique in its own personal way."
So, uh, yeah—we're gonna go ahead and assume it's your Southern bits.
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The entire collection's packaging is rose gold and bronze, because #millennial, and includes the usual personal-hygiene staples, like a gentle wash, some cleansing wipes, and a post-shave cream. Aaaand that's where the similarities end.
Because keep on browsing, and you can also treat your triangle to some fun anti-aging products, like the VV Serum, which "smooths fine wrinkles" and temporarily "firms" skin (for when your vulva is feeling a bit saggy), or you can spritz on the VV Beauty Mist to hydrate and refresh your vag when it just can't deal anymore.
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But our main fascination is with the Very V Luminizer, a tinted highlighter that contains "luminous iridescent color to add some extra prettiness to the V." Yes, this is more or less strobing for your vulva, and we have so many feelings, the first of which being the obvious: Your vagina is a perfect little gem that is beautiful without makeup.
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That being said, we are completely and totally down with the idea of tricking out our vulvas this summer, whether that's to get a statuesque-looking bikini line, or to cover hyperpigmentation, or just to have a shimmery Edward Cullen groin.
Basically, do whatever the hell you want to do, because it's your body. Although, you'll have to wait a few days until shipping opens up worldwide, but in the meantime, we'll be waiting for the first YouTube contour and highlight vulva video, which should be going live right about…now.
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Chloe Metzger is the deputy beauty director at Cosmopolitan, overseeing the editorial content and growth strategy of the hair, makeup, and skin space on digital, while also obsessively writing about the best hair products for every hair type (curly girl here; whattup), and the skincare routines that really, truly work (follow her on Instagram to see behind-the-scenes pics of that magazine life). She brings nearly a decade of writing and editing expertise, and her work has appeared in Allure, Health, Fitness, Marie Claire, StyleCaster, and Parents. She also has an unhealthy adoration for Tom Hanks and would like to please meet him one day, if you could arrange that. Thanks.
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