Because being a person in the world is hard and you deserve something nice, this is MarieClaire.com's semiregular column on everything talented young man Timothée Chalamet did that week. You can catch up on last week's here.
Bonjour, mes amis! Thank you so much for joining me for another edition of This Week in Timothée Chalamet. Did you know Bastille Day is tomorrow? I did, because I actually wrote this week’s edition from France, where incidentally, Timothée Chalamet’s father was born. (That’s why Timmy has dual citizenship and speaks fluent French, bien sûr!)
But let’s get down to brass tacks. Another week, another period of radio silence on TimCha’s social media accounts. But the world kept turning, so it’s a good thing we don’t actually need him for this column.
Allons-y, féllow Timmy stans!
A travel company introduced a Call Me By Your Name tour of Italy.
Pack your bags, fam: We’re goin’ to Crema.
According to NewNowNext, travel company Quiiky Tours, which specializes in LGBTQ-friendly group travel, has announced an unofficial "Call Me By Your Name" tour that shows you some of the lush locations in the Oscar-nominated Luca Guadagnino masterpiece and extended Timothée Chalamet weeping erotica.
The 9-day tour starts in Milan, then hits Crema, Garda Lake, Bergamo, and other scenic Italian locales. Getting into the group costs about $2,300 USD per person, with a group minimum of eight people and sets off in October (more info here). You’ll be able to ride bikes through gently-swaying grain, swim in fresh waters, and hopefully ignite your own will-they-or-won’t-they love affair that ends in heartache but teaches you about love and, ultimately, yourself. You’ll remember everything.
Timothée Chalamet became a work of art.
This week was a good week thanks to the Instagram geniuses at @chalametinart. They've been putting out what they’re calling “badly photoshopped” images of Timmy in assorted classic works, but counterpoint: These are actually very goodly photoshopped.
And this one, which I am straight-up setting as my iPhone background right this instant:
The only tweet thread you need to see, full stop, was written.
Noted TimCha observer, Kayli (@realchamalet on Twitter, not to be confused with the real Chalamet, Timothée Chalamet), came up with this amazing thought exercise:
thread of “types of boyfriends” based on Timothée Chalamet photos pic.twitter.com/N3aljaUo80July 8, 2018
They ended up posting over 20 brilliantly-curated examples of times when Timmy looked like every guy who has ever left you on read. I’m not going to put all of them below—partially because that would create excessive scrolling and partially because I don’t believe there are actually that many types of men in existence ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)—but here are some of the highlights:
1. the local.-calls you things like “shorty”-LOUD-drives but makes you take an Uber home-SoundCloud rapping is his full time job-little dick energy pic.twitter.com/6W2EkG15zVJuly 8, 2018
7. The College Student.-Majors in Math-Sells weed-funny as all hell-professors love him-cries to you about his mommy issues pic.twitter.com/FQHDO7Z0sEJuly 8, 2018
13. The Hubby. -rubs your back-sends you selfies-wants kids very badly-volunteers at a hospital -says “oh shoot” instead of “shit” pic.twitter.com/pHy36ysnWIJuly 8, 2018
14. The Fuckboy.-wants to take your virginity -carries a backpack everywhere -orders chicken tenders and fries at every restaurant-sends unsolicited dick pics-doesn’t kiss you after receiving a blowie pic.twitter.com/jsH9HUKAeKJuly 8, 2018
Trés bien, Kayli! More of this type of content in 2018!
Not that much else happened this week, so I’m going to go try to make-out with Timothée Chalamet under the Eiffel Tower. (I should point out that "Timothée Chalamet" is the name of this baguette I just purchased—I’m pain-sexual.)
Vive la France and have a glorious weekend, kittens.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
Cady Drell is a writer, editor, researcher and pet enthusiast from Brooklyn.
Prince William Accepts Gifts for Kate Middleton As Health Rumors Swirl
William attended two more public events this week, without his wife in sight.
By Meghan De Maria
#ReadWithMC Readers Thought ‘Everyone Who Can Forgive Me Is Dead’ Was a Witty, Twisty Page-Turner
“A dark and delicious whodunnit that will haunt you anytime you dare to pause reading.”
By Rachel Burchfield
Julia Fox Pairs a Leather Bra With a Tutu in Paris
Nobody ever accused Fox of playing it safe!
By Meghan De Maria
Kristen Bell Told Her Kids About Doing Mushrooms, And It "Backfired"
By Iris Goldsztajn
Sarah Hyland and Adam Devine Play 'How Well Do You Know Your Co-Star?'
The 'Modern Family' stars reunited for the 'Pitch Perfect' spinoff series.
By Brooke Knappenberger
The 78 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes of All Time
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
Super Rare Photos of Queen Elizabeth as a Young Woman
From childhood snapshots to portraits as a young princess, beautiful and rare photos of the late Queen Elizabeth as a young woman.
By Mehera Bonner
King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla's Relationship: A Timeline
With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, Charles has ascended to the throne as king.
By The Editors
Who Is Next in Line for the British Throne, Explained
And yes—Harry and Archie are still in the line of succession.
By Andrea Park
Simone Biles Was Offered a Children's Coloring Book on a Flight
The Olympic athlete is famously short.
By Iris Goldsztajn
Who Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Fiancé Riley Roberts?
AOC's husband-to-be is an "easygoing redhead" who lives with her in D.C.
By Katherine J. Igoe