The first to arrive is Kim Kardashian because she obviously has other places to be tonight. Have you seen the size of her family? "Lets get this over with," she whispered to Baby Nori. North couldn't respond because she's wrapped up like a burrito on a fur carpet. And because she's a baby, guys.
Suddenly, the paps are having a field day! Kim and Kanye are pulling into the drive way ON A MOTORCYCLE! Someone yells, "Woah. Is she... What is she doing!? Not safe, bro."
Then, Miley Cyrus shows up with her uninvited homies. When security gives her trouble at the door she screams, "This is our house, this is our rules, I DO WHAT I WANT TO," and makes this face:
Both Kim and Miley head inside wondering where Lindsay Lohan is. Turns out, she's upstairs naked in bed smoking a pre-turkey cig.
When she finally makes it down the stairs and over to the dinner table, these two are all like, "YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!" Shocker.
After all the food their tiny celebrity frames could endure, everyone started to wonder where Miley went. Kim got up to check the bathroom and found her permanently stuck to the mirror.
"Ugh, I'm out of here," Kim sighed and walked towards the door. "I have to get back to arching my back in the sunset anyway." And with that, everyone left and went back to what they had been doing before:
Follow Hallie Gould on Twitter.
Hallie has worked in beauty editorial for ten years and has been editorial director at Byrdie since 2021. Previously, she was a senior editor at Byrdie since 2016. During her time at Byrdie, she's written hundreds of high-performing stories on skincare, wellness (including fitness, diet, mental health, body image, et al) makeup, and hair. She's a regular on set, helping to source inspiration for makeup and hair looks, as well as interviewing celebrities, models, and other notable women and men in the beauty space.
Before that, Hallie ran Marie Claire's social media and wrote beauty and culture stories for the site, and helped launch Time Inc.'s digital-only beauty brand, MIMI. After college, she contributed to Time Out New York’s Shopping & Style section before landing her first beauty editor gig at Hearst's Real Beauty. Hallie's writing has also appeared in ELLE, Cosmopolitan, and InStyle. Hallie graduated with a BA in Communication Arts from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
I Scoured Through Hundreds of Runway Shows—These Are the Color Trends of Summer 2023
From the neutrals of quiet luxury to highly-saturated statements.
By Emma Childs
Unearthed Prince Harry Interview from 2017 Reveals He Already Wanted Out of the Royal Family—But Stayed for One Reason
He and wife Meghan Markle eventually left their roles as senior royals in 2020.
By Rachel Burchfield
Matty Healy Addressed His Podcast Controversy: "It Doesn't Actually Matter"
By Iris Goldsztajn
Sarah Hyland and Adam Devine Play 'How Well Do You Know Your Co-Star?'
The 'Modern Family' stars reunited for the 'Pitch Perfect' spinoff series.
By Brooke Knappenberger
The 78 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes of All Time
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
Super Rare Photos of Queen Elizabeth as a Young Woman
From childhood snapshots to portraits as a young princess, beautiful and rare photos of the late Queen Elizabeth as a young woman.
By Mehera Bonner
King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla's Relationship: A Timeline
With the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, Charles has ascended to the throne as king.
By The Editors
Who Is Next in Line for the British Throne, Explained
And yes—Harry and Archie are still in the line of succession.
By Andrea Park
Who Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Fiancé Riley Roberts?
AOC's husband-to-be is an "easygoing redhead" who lives with her in D.C.
By Katherine J Igoe
68 Times the Kardashians Posed Fully Nude and Owned It
And we mean fully nude—as in, not a shred of clothing.
By Bianca Rodriguez
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors