

In my last analysis, I argued that Taylor Swift's underground network of famous girls is a lot like a centuries-old secret society that leaves pointy shapes lying around everywhere and controls world events through subliminal messaging in Beyoncé's music. I take it all back.
They're too advanced to compare to the Illuminati now. In a few months, they've evolved into a well-trained ensemble of elite boxerinas/munitions experts who run through walls like they're Kleenex. There are so many of them they have to serve *two* birthday cakes at any given celebration. But they're not to be feared. No—they're to be studied because, along with a femur-shattering roundhouse kick and an immaculate matte red lip, they've mastered friendship.
Here, we've created a guidebook on how to assemble, lead, entertain, and discipline your own squad—just like Taylor.
Communicate coordinating outfit choices via brain waves
You still text/talk in person? How quaint.
To increase your numbers, have your squad infiltrate other squads
The nice way to put this: cross-squad pollination. The realistic way: a hostile takeover the other squad didn't know was hostile until it was too late. (Except they'll enjoy the cookies and streamers and stuff, so it's all cool.)
Add new squad members, but keep the old (as part of your extended squad)
In inferior squads, the protocol would be to test an extended squad member's loyalty by leaving your phone unattended or an already-opened pack of Oreos out in the open. But if you want to follow Taylor's lead, you'll arrange a surprise Dashboard Confessional concert...because, weirdly enough, you trust them.
Praise your squad
Ten out of 10 workplace experts are like, "Whaddidtell you" right now.
Share your life philosophy with your squad
Give them something to believe in—besides you, of course.
Lean on them
Literally. (Look at Lorde.) Especially when they've all confirmed receipt of your mental iMessage to wear neutrals/denim/stripes.
I'm Chelsea Peng, the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. On my tombstone, I would like a GIF of me that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, I'm into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard I have to go lie down.
-
Miley Cyrus, Millennial, Shows Side Parts Can Still Be Cool With Hair Transformation
No! Beauty! Rules!
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Prince Harry's Ex Chelsy Davy Just Got Married, Reportedly
She and Sam Cutmore-Scott share baby son Leo.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
Prince Harry Is Worried About Archie and Lili Experiencing the "Online Harm" That Is Currently "Normalized"
He says the internet needs to change dramatically.
By Iris Goldsztajn
-
68 Times the Kardashians Posed Fully Nude and Owned It
And we mean fully nude—as in, not a shred of clothing.
By Bianca Rodriguez
-
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors
-
Surprise! Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas Are Parents
They welcomed a baby via surrogate.
By Neha Prakash
-
Meghan and Harry Share First Photo of Their Daughter Lilibet Diana
The Sussex's holiday card is here!
By Rachel Epstein
-
The 50 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes Ever
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
-
Alicia Keys Gets What She Wants
With her jazzy new album, Keys, the singer stopped worrying about everything except what matters: Her own opinion.
By Jessica Herndon
-
Brooke Shields on Reinventing Yourself, Making Friends in Your 40s, and More
The actress and CEO shared inspiring advice during a panel at 'Marie Claire's' "Power Trip: Off the Grid" conference.
By Rachel Epstein
-
Alicia Keys on Her Upcoming Album 'Keys,' Life Lessons From Her Mom, and More
The singer opened up during a special panel at 'Marie Claire's' "Power Trip: Off the Grid" conference.
By Rachel Epstein