This week in petty...un-tribe-like behavior at SoulCycle, Comfort Chicken Parmesan, and multiple examples of how timing really is everything. Welcome to the Petty Party, which is like a newsletter email you get from the office-supply store because you wanted the welcome discount but not daily updates on what binder clips they just got in. But funner.
When Sean Spicer Made His Last Stand
Among Sean Spicer's many difficulties: He even had trouble taking a mini-fridge from junior White House staffershttps://t.co/LFXN1syKrP pic.twitter.com/j7X9SajB7iJuly 21, 2017
Except it sounded like the junior staffers were like, "Uh, no, dude" when he tried to commandeer their mini-fridge (full of "Lean Cuisine frozen lunches"—one of the saddest things I have ever read, by the way). So he just laid in wait like that one really janky hyena from the Lion King and stole it in the dark of the night (8 p.m.). The imagery, people! The poetry of it. For nothing but your gift for buffoonery, you will be missed, Ol' Spicey (opens in new tab).
When Lana Del Rey Did a Lot of Shit
Not the hex bit, because I like that, but the way she confirmed that she did cast a spell to ward off Tr*mp (opens in new tab). (It can kick in anytime now.) "Yeah, I did it," she said (opens in new tab). "Why not? Look, I do a lot of shit." We can only hope she chose something zesty, such as uncontrollable diarrhea or African sleeping sickness.
When Trent Reznor Took It Back
Similarly, it's all in the phrasing when you backtrack on calling Ashton Kutcher an "asshole" (opens in new tab) whose supposed "f*cking tech genius" you don't "give a shit about."
"I don't know where that rage just came from," said Trent Reznor, frontman of Nine Inch Nails and author of the above quote. "But all I can say is that I've learned a hell of a lot from working at Beats and Apple...Being in that world has made me realize the true value of being an artist...The economics of music aren't what they should be, and the culture isn't giving the arts its fair due, but humans are always going to respond to emotion and storytelling. I believe that as much as I ever did. More, even." Change of heart? Or someone remembered his publicist sitting in the corner having a quiet conniption.
When Charlize Theron Pulled an Aretha on Tia Mowry (Sans Fax Machine)
She was asked, but still: The only thing more pleasing than visual symmetry is celebrities shading one another in the style of Aretha Franklin dusting off the Brother PPF1270e to drag Dionne Warwick...five years after the fact (opens in new tab). This is essentially what Charlize Theron did to Tia Mowry, who said in a 2014 interview (opens in new tab) that when she approached Theron at SoulCycle, the latter rolled her eyes and said "Oh, my god." Fast forward to Sunday, when Theron responded to the allegations by saying "What a bitch" and questioning the integrity of the publication that first reported the incident. Classic.
When Some Lady on Twitter Showed Us That Petty Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Long game strong.
I'm Chelsea Peng, the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. On my tombstone, I would like a GIF of me that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, I'm into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard I have to go lie down.
16 Breezy Linen Dresses for Summer
The closest thing to wearing nothing.
By Sara Holzman
The 30 Best Korean Dramas on Netflix Right Now
For those dipping their toes into the vast world of dramas beyond 'Squid Game.'
By Quinci LeGardye
JVN Hair Is Having an Unreal Memorial Day Sale
You’re going to want the Air Dry Cream for upcoming beach days.
By Samantha Holender
Who Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Fiancé Riley Roberts?
AOC's husband-to-be is an "easygoing redhead" who lives with her in D.C.
By Katherine J Igoe
68 Times the Kardashians Posed Fully Nude and Owned It
And we mean fully nude—as in, not a shred of clothing.
By Bianca Rodriguez
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors
Surprise! Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas Are Parents
They welcomed a baby via surrogate.
By Neha Prakash
Meghan and Harry Share First Photo of Their Daughter Lilibet Diana
The Sussex's holiday card is here!
By Rachel Epstein
The 50 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes Ever
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
Alicia Keys Gets What She Wants
With her jazzy new album, Keys, the singer stopped worrying about everything except what matters: Her own opinion.
By Jessica Herndon
Brooke Shields on Reinventing Yourself, Making Friends in Your 40s, and More
The actress and CEO shared inspiring advice during a panel at 'Marie Claire's' "Power Trip: Off the Grid" conference.
By Rachel Epstein