"There's nothing that guarantees a squeal out of a crowd more than Channing Tatum tearing away his cop pants." Out of context, this is a magnificent quote. In context—Magic Mike costume designer Christopher Peterson describing the extensive research that went into discovering the right combination of closures—this is a quote that ought to earn everyone involved in its making automatic VIP spots on the guest list for that big club in the sky.
The fashion version of the side-snap pant, while considerably less efficient a way to get down to your G-string in 2 seconds flat, is still plenty cheeky—and built for a spectacle, if you will. Its existence as a runway item is in itself a performance, made possible by fashion doing as it does: fixating on the stuff of strip clubs and high-school pep rallies, "elevating" it through cut and fabric and the bodies enclosed within, and "elevating" the price to four times the original. We know how it goes, and yet, we still want it...every time.
Maybe because, buttoned all the way up, with a heeled loafer, even your most close-minded colleague would be like "What are thoooseee," as a respectful nod to Vines past?
Maybe because now you've finally figured out how to wear a white blazer: with double-wide, cropped, JNCO-type SSP, a sentence I never thought I'd type?
Or maybe, just maybe, you can't get the thought of this Fenty x Puma look flapping open thrillingly as you disembark Leo DiCaprio's schooner (same) out of your mind.
To recap: For day, "conservative" is the word. (And "dark knit.") For night, all bets—including the determination to keep them on—are off.
Follow Marie Claire on Facebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
I'm Chelsea Peng, the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. On my tombstone, I would like a GIF of me that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, I'm into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard I have to go lie down.
-
So, Did Navarro College Win at Daytona in 2021?Navarro vs. Trinity Valley was the matchup of the year.
-
The 20 Best Lengthening Mascaras for Sky-High Lashes
For next-level long lashes that will have everyone asking, "Are those real?", try one of these editor-approved lengthening mascaras.
-
The 14 Best Horror Movies of 2022 (So Far)
From the return of Leatherface to the latest Jordan Peele film.
-
The 11 Breton Tops You'll Wear With Everything
This tee is still timeless, 163 years later.
-
The 4 Types of Jeans I'll Always Invest In
For the denim die-hards.
-
The Top Winter Shoe Trends for 2022
Make the best of the season's footwear offerings.
-
The 20 Jeans Brands Fashion Editors Swear By
Your search for the perfect pair of denim is over.
-
29 Sophisticated Work Bags to Carry Your Mobile Office In
Whatever your workday looks like, you'll be well-accessorized.
-
24 Animal Print Coats and Jackets to Pounce On
Take a walk on the wild side.
-
16 Blanket Scarves to Stay Cozy In
Say hello to your new favorite accessory.
-
17 Chunky Sneakers to Put Your Best Foot Forward In
The humble "dad sneaker" is back and better than ever.
