10 Reasons Your Couch Is Better Than Your Boyfriend

The sexy alternative to a social life.

(Image credit: Archives)

After a long, hard day at work, all you want is to come home to someone—or something—who will listen to you (silently), support you and indulge you in an hours-long Orange Is The New Black marathonIt's not your boyfriend that will do that—it's your oh-so-soft, always cushy, and forever there couch.

1. Your blankets keep you warmer than the arms of any man. There's nothing quite like your favorite worn-in fleece.

2. Netflix has been a girl's best date for the past decade. Binge-watching will be there for you as late as you want, whenever you want.

3. Your couch doesn't care if you haven't showered. It will embrace your stank and greasy hair.

4. You can make cake in a coffee cup. Why would you ever need to leave your house again?

5. You can learn way more about your crush via social media than actually talking to him.

6. You don't need to wait in line for a beer. Your couch and coffee table provide just as much fun and intimacy as a bar.

7. Your computer screen may provide better cultural events than your local watering hole. You watch concerts and interviews online all the time. You know what's up.

8. Your couch doesn't ask you annoying questions. Inquiries like "Whatever happened to that guy you were dating? Or, "Are you currently seeing anyone right now?" are a thing of the past.

9. Your couch welcomes fistfuls of popcorn in your mouth at one time. The bigger the handful, the better the taste.

10. Socializing takes energy. Couching helps you catch up on your beauty rest.


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