Power Hunger: Why People Sleep With Their Boss

David Letterman is not particularly good looking, but he slept with a number of females on his staff. When I was out with friends this past weekend, we were discussing the phenomenon. Surprisingly, the two girls we were with admitted they...

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David Letterman is not particularly good looking, but he slept with a number of females on his staff. When I was out with friends this past weekend, we were discussing the phenomenon. Surprisingly, the two girls we were with admitted they had slept with bosses.

It's crazy that this happens at all, given the Human Resources ramifications, and the fact that the bosses are usually older guys who sleep with cute younger girls. How do these guys pull it off? It must have to do with humankind's attraction to power.

We've been attracted to power all through our lives. In high school, the popular guys/gals seemed hotter because they were powerfulwithin that little social setting. Power is relative: you can be the President of a country, President of a company, or President of a book club (that's basically my power level). Then you have the weird powerful people like cult leader David Koresh in his compound (is it me, or is there always something shady and illegal going on in a "compound"?) When I am powerful in a setting (such as my Best Man status at a recent wedding), I do better socially.

Power is appealing in a few ways:

Talent, Intelligence & Charisma

Given the right breaks, talent, intelligenceand/or charisma gets people to the top. Any one of these three characteristics alone is attractive, and usually people at the top have all three. So, while I'mreading about Counting Crows Adam Duritz' hot girlfriends and David Letterman, it makes sense because one of them is a talented musician and the other is a very funny guy. But neither of them are "hot".


Usually, power brings in the bucks. It may be shallow, but money is attractive. If things extend into a few dates, it's always fun to see how the other half lives, or get an expensive dinner here or there.

Powerful People Are Sought After

Once we get that mob mentality where everyone is after something, that something is attractive. If everyone wants to be around the person, then it's rewarding when you are that special person the power individual wants to spend their valuable time with. Super powerful people are sought after by more than just the opposite gender. Photographers, co-workers, journalists, publicists, higher ups, etc, are after them too, and it makes them look even more attractive.


How can you not be confident once you get to the top, although I'm sure I'd find a way to lack confidence if I ever made it to the top. When there's nothing to worry about because your career and finances are in perfect order, it's easy to coast with confidence everywhere you go.

A Challenge

Everybody loves a challenge, and people at the top represent a quest. Once you've climbed that mountain and conquered it, you can't help but feel good about yourself.

They Are Where You Want To Be

If you sleep with your boss, you may not be sleeping with them, you may just be sleeping with what they represent. And maybe , unconsciously, you think their power might rub off on you if you get that close to them. Then there are more sinister reasons such as sleeping with a boss because it will lead to promotions and moving up.

I don't think power is always a shallow trait to pursue. As I mentioned, intelligence, sense of humor and charisma are usually part of a powerful person's identity. My buddy recently laughed at me when he asked why I have so much trouble dating. I said:

"I don't even care about settling down, I just want to make tons of money."

It's hard for me to be confident when i still don't open my credit card bills hoping that they'll go away if I ignore them. Personally,I want to assume that most women are looking for power. It will push me to work hard to succeed in life, and the romantic side of things might just fall into place after that.

Why do you think people are attracted to power, and do you agree with my reasons? It's tough to find stories where males sleep with female bosses. Why does the press almost exclusively cover stories about women sleeping with higher ups? Do women sleep with higher ups more than men, or are male power figures more likely to take advantage of their power than women power figures? What are your thoughts on power, and humankind's attraction to power? Have you ever slept with a boss? Were there deeper reasons for why you did this? Do people sleep with their boss because they are attracted to power, or is the boss taking advantage of the situation...or both?

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