There Is Now an App That Tells You How You Feel About People

Touted as the anti-Tinder, pplkpr (yes, that is a name of a real thing and not just random Scrabble letters) is a new app that helps you "discover" how you feel about people.

No, this is not one of those SNL parody ads. 

Here's how it works: By monitoring your heart rate through a very wearable-tech-trendy wrist strap, it "detects" the emotional changes in your body that correspond with who makes you feel what. Shitty people eventually get blocked on social media; awesome people get more time with you as a prize for their awesomeness. That's why it's called the people keeper (get it?).

You can use the tool with the weird watch thing it monitors your heart rate through or without it—but if you decide to DIY your feelings sans bracelet, be prepared to enter info like "Archebald made me feel scared at 3:20pm" and live with yourself afterward.  

If a particular friend makes you feel happy/excited with regularity (yay!), pplkpr will automatically set up a date. As Micah, a satisfied user, said in her review, "pplkpr helped me get a boyfriend." So there is that.

From our limited research, we derived that you should probably not wear pplkpr:

• during sex
• during a conversation with your boss
• during a phone call with your mother
• during anything with your mother

Yeah, we're just gonna stick to doing emotions the analogue way for now.