Last night, stars gathered in a cold, wet tent in Santa Monica (true story—Los Angeles is never prepared for rain) for the Film Independent Spirit Awards. Returning hosts John Mulaney and Nick Kroll addressed the terrible weather in their opening monologue, before launching into a cutting series of jokes about the men at the center of the #MeToo movement.
During their almost eleven-and-a-half minute opener, the comedians dragged Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner, Kevin Spacey, and Woody Allen with a barrage of no-holds-barred jokes and personal anecdotes.
On the #MeToo movement as a whole:
"Last year, everyone famous died. This year, everyone famous wishes they were dead," Mulaney quipped, kicking off the #TimesUp section of the monologue.
"The rules have changed for men. Some men are like, 'What? I can't hug a woman anymore?' Not the way you’re doing it, pal—all low and breathy like, 'Hey it's 1998 somewhere, baby.'" Kroll added.
On Harvey Weinstein:
Mulaney then launched into an anecdote about a time he met Harvey Weinstein, the producer whose sexual misconduct scandal kicked off the #MeToo movement. "This is a true story. I met Harvey Weinstein once, this was in 2015 for a meeting and he was complaining to me in the meeting that Weinstein TV took up too much of his time. And he said, and I quote, 'Yeah, no one's gonna remember my movies. Forget Pulp Fiction, my tombstone is gonna say Project Runway.' Aww, you don't gotta worry anymore, Harvey. It's not gonna say Project Runway. It's gonna say XXL Unmarked Grave."
The joke was met with shocked silence followed by uproarious laughter.
On Brett Ratner:
Kroll went on to share a story of his own, about Brett Ratner, who was also accused of sexual misconduct last year.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
"Those who have had the pleasure of meeting Ratner know he is constantly scratching his balls,” Kroll said. “One day, he was really going to town on his sad sacks, below his Banana Republic boxer briefs. We watched him walk away and walk over to the crafts services table where he touched six different doughnuts and then he grabbed one and walked away. If that’s how the guy treats doughnuts…"
On Kevin Spacey and Woody Allen:
The hosts also worked in digs at Kevin Spacey and Woody Allen, with Kroll musing, "Can we still love K-PAX?" Mulaney then chimed in, "And what about Woody Allen and his last 20 not-watchable movies? Can I still not watch them or must I reevaluate based on these new allegations that were a matter of public record 30 years ago?"
Finally, the duo turned their attention to the apologies the men at the center of these scandals have made and how they're, well, mostly terrible. The entire monologue is worth watching for yourself, which you can below:
Kayleigh Roberts is a freelance writer and editor with more than 10 years of professional experience. Her byline has appeared in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, ELLE, Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, Allure, Entertainment Weekly, MTV, Bustle, Refinery29, Girls’ Life Magazine, Just Jared, and Tiger Beat, among other publications. She's a graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University.
-
Paris Hilton Is Finally Ready to Share Her Daughter With the World
Hilton shared why she chose the name London, who her daughter resembles, and the special significance behind her birthdate.
By Fleurine Tideman Published
-
Kim Kardashian Confirms to Jimmy Kimmel Whether the Weirdest Rumors About Her Are True or Not
Emphasis on the WEIRDEST rumors.
By Fleurine Tideman Published
-
Cute Summer Outfits From the Runways With Real-Life Appeal
From beach bumming to al fresco dining.
By Emma Childs Published
-
How Timothée Chalamet's "Emotional Intelligence" Will Transform the Character of Willy Wonka
Literally perfect casting.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Adam Sandler Brought His Wife Jackie and Lookalike Daughter Sunny to 'The Out-Laws' Premiere
So cute!
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Nicholas Hoult Told Toni Collette He Still Thinks of Her as His Mom When He Watches One of Her Movies
I love this so much.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Alicia Silverstone Would Totally Do a Sequel to The '90s Rom-Com She Starred In Opposite Brendan Fraser
Did you guys know about this movie??
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Jennifer Grey Spotted Someone Watching 'Dirty Dancing' on a Plane on Valentine's Day
Fact: This is the best thing that's ever happened.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Jennifer Coolidge Would Definitely Be "On Board" to Film 'Legally Blonde 3'
YES!!!
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Salma Hayek Says Channing Tatum Almost "Killed" Her During a Lap Dance for 'Magic Mike's Last Dance'
LOL, Salma.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston Are Body-Swapping in an Upcoming Comedy, And It Might Be the Best News I've Ever Received
Clearly, I've lived an uneventful life.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published