Comedian Rachel Parris Calls Out the Impossible Standards Meghan Markle Faces With Her Princess "Advice"

• Ever since she and Prince Harry went public with their relationship in 2016, Meghan Markle (opens in new tab) has been on the receiving end of harsh and sometimes racist criticism and attacks.
• To highlight the impossible standards Meghan faces as a member of the royal family, comedian Rachel Parris delivered a monologue of "advice" on how to be a "perfect princess."
• The segment, which aired on BBC Two's  (opens in new tab)The Mash Report (opens in new tab), has received praise for highlighting the difficult situation Meghan is in as a royal. 

From the moment news broke that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were a thing, the former Suits actress has had to contend with weighty expectations, harsh critics, and, in some cases, overt racism.

Things got so bad so fast that Harry famously issued an official statement (opens in new tab) about the situation when he and Meghan were still just dating (opens in new tab). Putting a ring on it didn't quiet Meghan's harshest critics and the Duchess of Sussex is routinely scrutinized for, well, literally every decision she makes.

In a new segment on BBC Two's The Mash Report (opens in new tab), comedian Rachel Parris (opens in new tab) expertly addressed the impossible situation Meghan is expected to navigate with an "investigation" into whether or not Meghan is a "proper princess."

Watch Rachel's delivery of the segment or read some highlights below:

On Meghan and Prince Andrew being compared:

"Meghan Markle has been widely attacked by the British press for flying in Elton John’s private jet, guest-editing this month’s edition of British Vogue and wearing jeans to Wimbledon. So when it emerged that Prince Andrew had been flying around the world on the private jet of a convicted pedophile and sex offender, one might have imagined that the outrage would go through the roof....

“Actually, journalists have been equating Meghan’s misdemeanours with Andrew’s. Former editor of The Sun, Dominic Mohan, said last week, 'It’s been an annus horribilis for the Royal Family, whether you’re talking about Prince Andrew or Harry and Meghan.'

"That’s right—it’s been a terrible year for the Royals whether you’re talking about Prince Andrew hanging out with a convicted pedophile, Meghan wearing jeans to Wimbledon…Roughly the same, aren’t they?"

On the role of race:

"So how do we explain this harsher treatment of Meghan compared to the other Royals who are white? Look, it's not about her being a woman of color. No. It's about her being a woman of color, progressive, American, divorced, and having some opinions. Several commentators appear to be almost as obsessed with having a go at Meghan as they are with stating that it’s not because of her race. Nothing like having to deny something repeatedly to put us all at ease."

On #MeToo:

"Don’t be progressive…You can comment on your favorite designer, but don’t mention Me Too, please."

On what the British really want from the royals:

"There’s a very delicate but important contract that a Royal has with the British public and it’s this: Most people don’t mind paying for the Royals as long as those Royals live a miserable, thwarted existence full of horrible compromise."

On how to be a "perfect" princess: 

"To win over the Brits you must love the camera, hate the camera, perfect a strained half-smile, a hidden despair and stop giving a sh*t about the poor or the planet. And ideally be white, English and related to your husband before you marry him."

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