Women had informal networks to keep each other safe, and as long as half the population is attacked and harassed with impunity, I’ll support creative efforts to give women a heads-up about potentially dangerous men. For too long, women have been silenced—by the media who didn’t believe them, by the criminal-justice system that let their abusers go free, and by a culture that blamed them for the violence someone else enacted against them.
The Good
For a lot of us,whisper networks are our only recourse.
The Bad
I’ve heard from men nervous about the anonymity of such networks; they’re concerned about false accusations.
The Ugly Truth
I have a hard time finding empathy for worried men. False accusations are rare. What’s more common is women with credible allegations being disbelieved. Where’s the concern for them?
Women have been afraid—rightly so—for decades. Given how much abuse and harassment is tied to entitlement, perhaps the problem is that men haven’t been afraid enough.
The truth is whisper networks were never meant to be the end-all solution for harassment and abuse; they’re triage.We just want to stop the bleeding. And no matter the critiques,these lists seem to be working. Though the most famous list that made its way around media circles, “Shitty Media Men,” wasn’t meant to be public, enough people saw it that many of the men listed have since been fired. Not without cause, not without proof—the list was a first step that sparked investigations.
Of course anonymous lists aren’t the best way to get justice for victims. Of course women should be able to use the systems implemented by workplaces, the courts, and the government. But we know the reality is much more somber: These institutions have failed women again and again. Until the systems we have in place protect women, women will protect themselves however they can.
Jessica Valenti founder of Feministing.com and author of Sex Object.
This package appears in the March issues of Esquire and Marie Claire.
-
Annoyed By Your Overly Visible Nose Hairs? Here's What the Pros DoPutting the best removal methods to the test.
-
Doja Cat Gives Celine's Triomphe Bag the Butter Yellow TreatmentHer style is taking a turn toward the demure.
-
No One Would Guess These H&M and Zara Finds Aren’t DesignerThese under-the-radar finds look triple the price.
-
11 Books That Are the Antidote to Toxic Girlboss Hustle CultureThese memoirs and nonfiction titles will inspire you to focus on your personal ambitions.
-
Almost FamousHalf of the Shondaland dream team, the woman whose work brings 'Bridgerton' to life, is one of the most influential producers in Hollywood. And she’s ready for everyone to know it.
-
Payal Kadakia Is Finally Sharing Her Secret Sauce to SuccessIn her new book, LifePass, the ClassPass founder gives you the tools to write your own success story.
-
The Power IssueOur November issue is all about power—having it, embracing it, and dressing for it.
-
J. Smith-Cameron Is in ControlShe’s Logan Roy’s right hand. She’s Roman’s ‘mommy girlfriend.’ And she’s a fan favorite. Here, the Succession star takes us behind the scenes of Gerri’s boardroom power plays.
-
What Makes an Olympic Moment?In the past it meant overcoming struggle...and winning. But why must athletes suffer to be inspiring?
-
'The Other Black Girl' Gets Real About Racism in the Workplace"It really hits home how many spaces don’t allow Black women to really show up as their authentic selves."
-
Melissa Moore's 'Life After Happy Face' Podcast Looks at Killers Through New EyesThe true crime expert and daughter of the Happy Face Killer opens up to Marie Claire about destigmatizing the label of 'criminal's kid.'
