If the (Brutally) Honest 'Fifty Shades' Trailer Doesn't Shatter Your Illusions, Nothing Else Will

We all love to hate on Fifty Shades of Grey—but no one has nailed it (er, pardon the sex pun...?) quite like this.

For their 100th "Honest Trailer," the hilarious guys behind Screen Junkies took on the BDSM behemoth, pointing out the movie's super sexy (read: not sexy at all) features, like:

• contracts, contract negotiations, non-disclosure agreements, conditions, and clauses
• plot holes like Christian Grey, "a mysterious billionaire who runs a mysterious multinational corporation which is mysteriously able to function without him doing any actual work"
• stalking
• a complete lack of real S&M
• etc. etc.

The funniest part, though? When their very convincing fake Beyoncé sings "I wish somebody would tase me right now/This story's as sexy as rabies right now." Watch the video here, then go read up on the sequel's progress. Ironically, of course.