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Oh, Venmo. How we have come to love thee. Having Venmo means never having to carry cash on you, or even a wallet for that matter. You just need the app and a charged phone to pay someone or get paid. And let's be real—"I'll venmo you" is the 2016 way of saying "I owe you." Sometimes you see those transactions come through *and* sometimes you won't.
It's annoying when people don't have it—"Wait, what?"—and payment for items (or services rendered) ranges from tame to just downright weird. It's the comments however, that can really suck you into a deep Venmo scrolling spiral for hours. Here, just a few of the relatable/funny/and downright weird Venmo comments of late. Happy scrolling.
You'll see plenty of roommate references: "October 🏠Rent," "Tp+interwebz," "August 📺 I didn't forget. Yes I did." "for mansion settlement," and "House thangz."
The occasional coffee: "Love you a latte ☕️" or McDonald's run: "Feels like home 🍔🍟" "Future whopper j," "Double 🍔 #bikiniseason 👙."
There are concerts: "Sisqo tickets," "Queen 🐝👑," "PABLO🙏🏽🌊."
Laundering expenses: "dry cleaning bill for champagne spillage."
Sporting events: "🐎🐎🐎," "Footbakl 🎱," "Who dat time!!! Thanks for purchasing! 🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🍻👯."
Wedding stuff: "betch is getting marrieddddddd," "🍷 tasting and 👰 festivities ✌🏽️,"
Plus vacations: "🌴Springs!!! 👯💃🏻," "☀️🏖🍾," "Bangkok AirBnB for G$ & Broski! 🎉," "My arss all over the luxury house 🇮🇸🇮🇸🇮🇸," "We're going to MF Costa Rica!!🐬🐒🐢," "Yacht Week Hookers ⛵️⚓️👯."
A million martini, beer, and red wine emojis, which sums up how drunk or high everyone seems on Venmo: "Wineeeeeeeeeee," "🍄," "Baked," "Wine. Bitch.," "That time I left a large group dinner with out paying 🙈," "Boozy Tuesday," "Last call 🍷," "💃🏻🍺🚖," "Fermented liquid," "THE BAAAAAR."
Which leads us to our next category, drunk eating: "Candy belly ache," "🍕🍝✌," "Pickles and onion rings," "🍜🍰🍭🍪🍾🍷🍲🍨🍚," "Feed Me 🍟🍕🍝🍖."
AKA late nights: "After the club it's the afterparty and after the party it's the hotel lobby 🏨."
And the WTFs (probably relating back to those aforementioned drannnks): "Elbow macaroni painting of MacGyver riding the lobster from little mermaid," "🍆and honey 🐝zzzzzz," "God in a warehouse," "💀👈🏼," "Name tags for the undead," "eggplant soup, ya perv," and "Limo + ATM fee - underwear."
People also seem to be paying each other just because: "Taking care of mah boo," "eternal friendship," "Just feelin' generous" "TAKE MY 💰."
Or for sex: "👉🏼👌🏼💦," "👅," "For a good time ;)," "That lap dance was amazing, thanks."
And there you have it. What a time to be alive.
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