Why Sophia Bush Literally Set Pages of Her Memoir on Fire

Sophia Bush has been in the public eye for a long time, coming to massive fame on the teen drama One Tree Hill when she was just 21 years old. Now, after spending over half of her life in the spotlight, she's telling her story in her own words.

In her new memoir, And I Will Tell You Mine, the actor writes about her early life, her acting career, her love life—including with wife Ashlyn Harris—and her activism in politics and women's rights. Turns out, it took a lot of introspection (and literally burning some pages!) to get to the final product.

"It was this excavation, and it required uncomfortable light being shed, accountability, honesty, and then it required this patience and tenderness and mothering in a way," Bush tells Marie Claire editor-in-chief Nikki Ogunnaike on the latest episode of "Nice Talk".

Writing a memoir means editing as you go, and Bush realized that she didn't need to include every detail to get across the points she wanted to share. Instead, she could "whittle" certain stories down and "wrap it in what I realize it taught me."

She explains, "What was the lesson here? When did I ignore myself because it was more convenient for other people that I listened to them? When did I have the aha moment of 'I don't need to keep proving I can do this?' ... When were those moments?"

To remove the parts of her book that she decided not to include, the 44-year-old did something that sounds a lot more therapeutic than pressing the backspace key.

"We see ourselves when someone tells us a story that is true and that is detailed and that is all the things: the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful," she says. "And as I wrote this ... I did the full accounting, and then I said, 'This is for the burn pile.' And I did. I did actually physically pull pages out of the book and burn them."

Bush's memoir is for readers, obviously, but as she worked on it, she had to focus on writing it for herself, as opposed to using it as a chance set any stories straight or change people's minds about her. (Aside from the usual opinions and comments celebrity provokes, Bush has received hate for her political views.)

"It really was a personal journey, because I know there's nothing I'm going to do that's going to change anybody's minds or opinions," she says. "The public is not my job, and as I say that, I can feel my chest closing up. It makes me want to die, because all I want to do is be like, 'Here's the truth.' But, by the way, if that shit worked, Donald Trump wouldn't be the president again. If the facts mattered, we would not be behaving against our own interests as a human group."

The Grey's Anatomy star goes on, "If I could just put the facts on Instagram and not have another bully ever or people in my DMs telling me to un-alive myself, I would do it. But it's never going to change because they enjoy it. So it can't be for them."

For more from Bush—including how "falling in love with a mother" changed her—check out this week's installment of "Nice Talk." The episode is available everywhere you listen to podcasts.