What I Hate About Me: I Look Like The Grinch

It recently dawned on me

that I am being too picky with the girls I date. After I thought about this idea in more depth, I realized

that I'm really no prize, so who am I to even be picky? I decided to try an exercise that is

very much against what I was taught to do.

I spent 14 years being

educated at a small private Quaker school. The experience was amazing, but it gave me too much self

worth. I distinctly remember a

story about an I.L.A.C sign that hangs invisibly around our necks (opens in new tab). I.L.A.C stands for I Am Loveable And

Capable. It's taken me years to

even buy into this—and, you know what, I still haven't bought into it

completely. The story dictates

that every time someone says something hurtful, or crippling to you, a piece of

your I.L.A.C sign is broken off. If we go around hurting one another too much, then we are all left

broken, with no sense of I.L.A.C.

But, I've been too picky

with the girls I want to date. Perhaps I am alone because I don't deserve anyone beautiful, special, or

intelligent.

So, instead of looking in

the mirror tonight and telling myself that I deserve someone great (I.L.A.C), I

will go over all of the things I don't like about myself. If I humble myself, and realize that I'm

not that special, perhaps my standards, which are impossibly high, will come

down and I will be more forgiving when a strand of a girl's hair seems out of

place.

So, here are the things I

don't like about myself and how I will correct them:

1. My Facial Hair

My eyebrows are too thick—like

the Grinch's. I also don't like where some of the hair on my face is. This is the biggest thing about my

appearance I wish I could change. It's been on my conscious since I was in Middle School.

SOLUTION: I've been going to this lady who lasers

the hell out of my face...yes, I admit it.

2. My Gut

Luckily, I seem to get by

with this. The Grinch has one too—hell,

maybe I am the Grinch. But, I'm

pretty happy with my physique other than my gut. I'd feel perfect if I could get rid of it.

SOLUTION: Run 45 minutes at least three times a

week and stop eating such big portions. Wow, that doesn't seem fun at all.

3. My Dating Attitude

Remember when we first

met? I was going to re-vamp myself

as 2008 Rich (opens in new tab)? Yeah, he's still in

Beta. Just the other night I saw

and adorable girl in a bar and watched two really lame guys hit on her and get

rebuked. But, you know what? I am lamer than those guys because I

just stood there and admired her. I need to find that gear, get into it, try, try, try, fail, fail, fail...and

succeed at some point...and I have to want to succeed.

SOLUTION: Get up off my ass and meet people, and

remember the spirit of 2008 Rich.

4. Production

I should be writing more

music, more stories, writing more friends on email. I should be kicking ass at work. I should be taking trips home to help my parents around

their house. I should be sending

my nieces gifts. I should be

volunteering in soup kitchens, and making the world better because I was lucky

enough to be brought into this world and into a household that armed me with

the tools to do it.

SOLUTION: Grow up. Realize life is short. Try it little by little and build new habits. It's always possible. Research. Find things that kill two birds with one stone (#3 and #4 in

this case) like this cool dating service that matches up couples to do

volunteer work together (
they are currently only serving NYC, but over the next year they plan to expand into other cities)
. Don't be afraid of the challenge of

powerful women who do stuff like this.

I don't know if that was

particularly healthy to do. I

think it was fair to do though—since I am continuously writing about how I can't

find a girl because I'm so picky. Maybe I can't change those standards I have. But, I can change myself enough: improve while I'm single...so that when I meet this amazing

girl, I can be up to her standards.

What things about

yourselves would you change? Do

you think it's helpful to, once in a while, look at the things you need to

change? Does it help you in

dating, relationships, and personal growth?