David Letterman will retire from The Late Show in 2015, according to Variety. Though it's a little early for any announcements about who might be replacing him, in the meantime, Cosmopolitan.com has a few ideas about who should take over. Obviously, it needs to be a lady. None of the major late-night talk shows has ever had a female host. In fact, the scene has been pretty much dominated by middle-aged white men since the invention of late-night TV, which is pretty appalling given the fact that it is now 2014. Now is the perfect time for a change.
1. Chelsea Handler. She already knows how to do the job, and hey, she's going to be free circa early 2015. Coincidence? I think not.
2. Tina Fey. Because she is the greatest.
3. Amy Poehler. Because she is the other greatest.
4. Mindy Kaling. She's hilarous, she's friendly, and she's super-enthusiastic about tons of things. She would absolutely never have to fake being really into a guest's movie, because she probably would have already seen it 23 times.
5. Retta. All it takes is one look at her Twitter feed (or her weekly appearances on Parks and Recreation) to know that she's definitely funny enough to host The Late Show. She would also probably ensure that the show stays well-stocked with guests who are also hot dudes. Plus, she has Lena Dunham's stamp of approval:
6. Ellen DeGeneres. Another woman who has plenty of experience hosting a talk show, Ellen is more than prepared for a late-night gig. She also holds the record for the most retweeted tweet of all time, which seems like a pretty impressive thing to have on a resume.
7. Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo is extremely personable, so she'd put even the most awkward guests at ease. Plus she could be her own musical act.
8. Beyoncé. OK, just kidding about this one. But if Beyoncé hosted a late-night show, would you not watch it literally every single night of your life?
9. Gayle King. She could learn from the best.
10. Bette Midler. Just so she could do this at least once a week:
11. Liza Minnelli. Fine, Liza is probably too old. But don't you think The Late Show could use a few more show tunes?
12. Melissa McCarthy. Um, did you see The Heat? Bridesmaids? She's pretty much the funniest person alive, plus she's fantastic at improv. Imagine Jimmy Fallon's weird celebrity games, turned up to eleven on the total weirdness scale.
13. Kristen Schaal. Kristen has experience at The Daily Show under her belt, so she's ready to go. She also has an amazingly quirky, Conan-esque sense of humor that could work well in a late-night time slot.
14. Jessica Williams. Her greatness is best expressed through video:
15. Maya Rudolph. She's fantastic at everything she does, plus she knows a ton of other funny people who could drop by for occasional skits. Think "Tight Pants," but with Amy Poehler instead of Will Ferrell.
16. Kristen Wiig. Especially if she did it in her Harry Styles outfit.
17. Margaret Cho. Because she would be great at making the guests uncomfortable, but in a good way. Who knows what weird stuff she could convince someone like Tom Cruise to do on camera?
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