Michelle Obama Is So Over Barack's Christmas Presents

Also buying presents for anyone who's not a dog, basically.


Exasperated mom Michelle Obama has devised a most excellent strategy for a disappointment-free Christmas: money, carbs, and exerting energy only on those who cannot express ingratitude.

During an appearance at the Children's National Health System's holiday event Monday, the First Lady gave no f*cks detailing the contents of her shopping list for the press: Barack is getting workout gear, Sunny and Bo are getting toys and treats (even though Sunny isn't completely White House-trained), and Sasha and Malia are getting cold, hard cash and mac and cheese, which is all any of us ever want, really. 

"They don't want me to waste my energy picking out stuff they don't want," M'Obama said as parents everywhere nodded in agreement. "So they'd rather just have the money."

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