Michelle Obama Is So Over Barack's Christmas Presents

Also buying presents for anyone who's not a dog, basically.

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Exasperated mom Michelle Obama has devised a most excellent strategy for a disappointment-free Christmas: money, carbs, and exerting energy only on those who cannot express ingratitude.

During an appearance at the Children's National Health System's holiday event Monday, the First Lady gave no f*cks detailing the contents of her shopping list for the press: Barack is getting workout gear, Sunny and Bo are getting toys and treats (even though Sunny isn't completely White House-trained), and Sasha and Malia are getting cold, hard cash and mac and cheese, which is all any of us ever want, really. 

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"They don't want me to waste my energy picking out stuff they don't want," M'Obama said as parents everywhere nodded in agreement. "So they'd rather just have the money."

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