All the Very Best Reactions to 'Bachelorette' Contestant John Paul Jones on Twitter
Hannah Brown's season of The Bachelorette has already seen the craziest characters. But Bachelor Nation was the most excited/irritated/enraged by a very special contestant by the name of John Paul Jones, who works at...John Paul Jones. Yet despite what looked like a truly annoying set of character traits, Hannah somehow...decided to keep him on?
Spoilers for the premiere of The Bachelorette.
Hannah Brown's season of The Bachelorette has already seen the craziest characters: A "box king," a freestyle rapper (not his profession, but it's how I'll ID him going forward), two pilots, a tractor-driving farmer, and a fence jumper. But Bachelor Nation was the most excited/irritated/enraged by a very special contestant by the name of John Paul Jones, who works at...John Paul Jones and likes to refer to himself in the third person a lot. Yet despite what looked like a truly annoying set of character traits, Hannah somehow...decided to keep him on? And the reactions, of course, were magical.
Bachelor Nation was not thrilled he got a rose (I'm guessing he's just there for drama, but TBD—could you imagine if he won it all and annoyed us all to death?):
Hannah: John Paul Jones Bachelor nation: #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/yJhaYuxOAjMay 14, 2019
But like what if she actually picked him??
Someone quoted him directly, because the words that just literally came out of his mouth were ridiculous enough:
“I, John Paul Jones, didn’t come all the way out here, and give up a promotion at John Paul Jones just to be sent home” #theBachelorette pic.twitter.com/3uG5L1BR42May 14, 2019
There's the fact that he looks just like this Shrek character and now that's all I'll ever be able to see:
I knew John Paul Jones looked familiar 🤔 #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/U9AQDyeokjMay 14, 2019
And/or every '90s to '00s villain in a rom-com:
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Jennifer Garner’s sleazy hockey boyfriend from 13 Going on 30 and John Paul Jones are THE SAME PERSON #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/HL78ejWv97May 14, 2019
Or just a regular old Disney villain:
John Paul Jones talking at the camera. #theBachelorette pic.twitter.com/atAOAkyNExMay 14, 2019
Hannah's genuinely befuddled reaction to this extra, extra person:
#TheBacheloretteJPJ: you can call me john paul joneshannah: pic.twitter.com/aUnCI29W2KMay 14, 2019
There's incredulity over the fact that some how "The Box King" and the hot farmer "Matt Donald" went home instead:
WAIT... HANNAH... you just picked jOhn PaUl jOnEs over CHASEN, BOX GUY, BRIAN TEACHER GUY, & MATT DONALD???? #TheBacheloretteMay 14, 2019
There was speculation he miiight be a serial killer (lol):
You know who wouldn’t murder you the way John Paul Jones will? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/i2urkLtakmMay 14, 2019
And then, of course, more riffs on his talking about himself in the third person:
No one eliminates John Paul Jones not even John Paul Jones eliminates John Paul Jones #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/NTkHi6hkPuMay 14, 2019
Actually, I've changed my mind. For the memes alone, I want him to stay.
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Katherine’s a Boston-based contributor at Marie Claire who covers fashion, culture, and lifestyle—from “Clueless” to Everlane to news about Lizzo. She’s been a freelancer for 11 years and has had roles with Cosmopolitan and Bustle, with bylines in Parents, Seventeen, and elsewhere. It’s “I go to dinner,” not “Her huge ego,” but she responds to both.
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