Spoilers for the premiere of The Bachelorette.
Hannah Brown's season of The Bachelorette has already seen the craziest characters: A "box king," a freestyle rapper (not his profession, but it's how I'll ID him going forward), two pilots, a tractor-driving farmer, and a fence jumper. But Bachelor Nation was the most excited/irritated/enraged by a very special contestant by the name of John Paul Jones, who works at...John Paul Jones and likes to refer to himself in the third person a lot. Yet despite what looked like a truly annoying set of character traits, Hannah somehow...decided to keep him on? And the reactions, of course, were magical.
Bachelor Nation was not thrilled he got a rose (I'm guessing he's just there for drama, but TBD—could you imagine if he won it all and annoyed us all to death?):
But like what if she actually picked him??
Someone quoted him directly, because the words that just literally came out of his mouth were ridiculous enough:
There's the fact that he looks just like this Shrek character and now that's all I'll ever be able to see:
And/or every '90s to '00s villain in a rom-com:
Or just a regular old Disney villain:
Hannah's genuinely befuddled reaction to this extra, extra person:
There's incredulity over the fact that some how "The Box King" and the hot farmer "Matt Donald" went home instead:
There was speculation he miiight be a serial killer (lol):
And then, of course, more riffs on his talking about himself in the third person:
Actually, I've changed my mind. For the memes alone, I want him to stay.
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