Seriously, though: If you just put the released scenes in order and fill the rest in with your imagination, you can save yourself, like, $20 and at least a little embarrassment.
The much-anticipated Red Room of Pain makes a cameo in Today's Fifty Shades clip, and we must say the tufted walls look rather pleasant and luxurious in a Dita von Teese sort of way. Anastasia Steele is not quite so into it, however, probably because she used context clues when Christian called it his "playroom" and logically guessed it contained his "Xbox and stuff." So wrong. (Fun fact: Malaysia banned the movie precisely because of what goes on in the, um, playroom, calling "the content...of a woman being tied to a bed and whipped" sadistic.)
Take the chopper and fly far, far away, Ana. *hisses in a Gollum voice* He called it his "playroom."
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