The Rules of Successful Sideboob

Aug 9, 2016

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If these mad itchy-looking celebrity outfits are like skydiving, sideboob is like when Carrie Bradshaw took that trapeze class: dangerous-seeming but in reality, actually pretty safe. For us regular folk, however, there's no safety net in the form of a stylist or fluffer, so the stakes really are just a little higher—here, our five commandments for just the right amount of exposure.

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1 Choosing the Right Cut

<p>As in life, Successful Sideboob is all about balance: If the left and right are out, the middle cannot also be out. That would be too much. Look for scoop necks rather than deep Vs. </p>

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As in life, Successful Sideboob is all about balance: If the left and right are out, the middle cannot also be out. That would be too much. Look for scoop necks rather than deep Vs.

2 Choosing the Right Vibe

<p>Because sideboob is inherently outré, you need to play it off like it's NBD, which perhaps makes it even sexier. For this, you've got a few aesthetic choices: beachy (like Gigi Hadid, here), super fancy/conceptual (like Ciara at the Met Gala—pictured above), or sporty like a high-cut '80s swimsuit Christy would wear to play beach volleyball. </p>

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Because sideboob is inherently outré, you need to play it off like it's NBD, which perhaps makes it even sexier. For this, you've got a few aesthetic choices: beachy (like Gigi Hadid, here), super fancy/conceptual (like Ciara at the Met Gala—pictured above), or sporty like a high-cut '80s swimsuit Christy would wear to play beach volleyball.

3 Practicing Self-Awareness

<p>The best clothes are the ones you forget you're wearing, but sometimes, it's okay to sacrifice 100 percent comfort for a Moment. Successful Sideboob requires the wearer to be a bit more conscious—not of her body, because that is already great, but her body *movements.* This means no mashing your arms against your sides (what's even the point, then?), drawing your shoulders together like they taught you in yoga, and pivoting and looking over your shoulder at all possible opportunities. </p>

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The best clothes are the ones you forget you're wearing, but sometimes, it's okay to sacrifice 100 percent comfort for a Moment. Successful Sideboob requires the wearer to be a bit more conscious—not of her body, because that is already great, but her body *movements.* This means no mashing your arms against your sides (what's even the point, then?), drawing your shoulders together like they taught you in yoga, and pivoting and looking over your shoulder at all possible opportunities.

4 Maybe Trying This on a Very Casual Friday During Which Your Boss Is on Vacation

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High-neck apron-y styles will fool 'em, for sure, especially if the rest of your outfit is very straight-laced.

5 F—ing the Boobs or Legs Rule

<p>This goes against what I said before, but listen: Sometimes—after you've been working out regularly, or it's right after your period and you've de-bloated, or you're just especially feeling yourself—a girl just wants to go for it. Do it boldly, own it, and everything will be great. </p>

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This goes against what I said before, but listen: Sometimes—after you've been working out regularly, or it's right after your period and you've de-bloated, or you're just especially feeling yourself—a girl just wants to go for it. Do it boldly, own it, and everything will be great.