I don't believe in astrology. I mean, yes, off the top of my head, I can name my sun sign (Cancer), moon sign (Scorpio), and rising sign (Libra), as well as my stellium (Venus/Mars/Jupiter) in Leo, and my midheaven in Cancer but I don't believe in astrology. Sure, I'll ask you about your chart, and if you have no idea, I'll offer to do it for you, but that definitely doesn't mean I care about astrology. Have I rejected romantic partners because of their astrological makeup? Most definitely, but that doesn't mean I believe in astrology. I've broken up with men for singing Christmas songs in August. The weather was FAR from frightful! I don't know anything about the houses or the nodes or how any of that works, and most of the time I'm looking at your chart and judging exactly who you are, because I don't believe in astrology.
I definitely didn't get drunk on Christmas and set up an entire Google Doc outlining the sun sign*, moon sign**, and rising sign*** of my friends and loved ones, because that is something someone who believes in astrology would do. I definitely don't have a roommate who freaked out because her rising sign was different than she was lead to believe and had a full-on two-hour meltdown because of it, no. I don't believe in astrology!!
But for someone who doesn't believe in astrology, I sure as hell do believe in voting and exercising that political muscle of yours. As I've said on MarieClaire.com more than once, voting is sexy. Voting is cool. The midterm elections are, quite possibly, the most important election we will ever have in our lifetimes. And while we're constantly being told this one fun fact about this being the Most Important Election We Will Ever Have In U.S. History, Billy "IT'S DEBRA MESSING YOU GAYS" Eichner has a shocking bit of information for you about the midterm elections:
Polls and anecdotal evidence suggest the vast majority of 19-29 year olds are still not planning to vote this year. Tweets like this one are not enough. Please reach out to the 18-29 year olds in your life - call them, text them, email them - let them know how important this is.October 8, 2018
So, since I don't believe in astrology, I figured I'd be the best person to gather a list of ways that your zodiac sign will determine not how you fall politically, but how to best use your star sign to your benefit. That is, if you believe in that kind of thing. In this case, you definitely should. At the very least, go out and vote, and vote often! But that's not my Cancer side talking, or anything.
Aries March 21 - April 19
We get it, Aries, we get it. You hate being misunderstood so much, and that's why you're super into throwing and attending protests. Your character is committed to standing up against injustice and oppression, and you don't just sit around and complain. Aries is known to, if I can quote my high school Forensic Speech coach, "Stand Up. Be Heard." (Go, Groves Forensics Team! If you call it Speech & Debate, you're wrong.) Stay angry, Aries. That's what's going to fuel you in the next few months.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
Don't just eat your feelings, Taurus. At least have a bake sale and donate proceeds to your ideal political candidate. I know, I know. There are so many facts to take into account, and you want to make sure that every effort you put in means something. Check your voter registration, eat a cookie, and then use your strong character and commitment to achieve your ambitions.
Gemini May 21 - June 20
Oh, Gemini. You're gonna ruin Christmas for everyone. Your comfort in any social situation might lead to you starting a debate over a Christmas ham unintentionally, but that's a good thing. Call out your racist family members and tell them their racism isn't cute, it's harming people. You have one duty, Gemini, and that's to use your Chatty Cathy nature for good this time. If anything, you'll be the one to gather the Youths (that is, the people 19-29 who aren't registered to vote) and use your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to take to the streets and make them get registered. Check your voter registration and stomp the pavement.
Cancer June 21 - July 22
As the most Cancer-y Cancer to ever Cancer on the Cancer-y Planet, I know a thing or two about how Cancers will handle the election. Cancers are going to take to the midterms by doing what I'm doing now: writing about it. Even if that means getting into a debate with a stranger on Facebook (I don't recommend it, not a good use of your emotional labor) or writing a Twitter thread. Cancers are going to first check their voter registration, and then pound on their keyboard so hard they may as well be this GIF:
Leo July 23 - August 22
Consider running for office. No, really. If Barack Obama can be the most famous Leo in the world for over a decade, you can run for office. Check your voter registration, and set up a SuperPAC, Leo. It's in your nature.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Virgo, you studious son of a bitch, you're going to be the person reading up on every single voting rights law to make sure that voter suppression is on its way out, and you're also going to ask every one of your friends if they're voting. After they've checked on their own voter registration, of course. And if they're not, they will be be buried in the pile of information you've gathered about why they should be voting, and why it's foolish for them not to be.
Libra September 23 - October 22
Well, you have two options, Libra. You can remain impartial and balanced, the boring option, or you can flirt with people so hard that you can get them to vote however your heart desires. But you can't do both! You want to be gentle and tentative, but you need to use your listening abilities and your innate diplomacy to your benefit! But first, check your voter registration.
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
Scorpio, just go full on House of Cards. We know you want to. Get messy, dig up all the dirt for the opposing side you can think of. Make your own Steele dossier! Revenge is your absolute favorite thing (I can relate), so honestly, the best thing a Scorpio can do is put that vengeance muscle to work. Much like your Aries friends, you're especially pissed off by the entire notion of people being hurt. So donate to your favorite charities to help defend the rights of those who can’t help themselves, check your voter registration, and gather magazines to cut words out of for a great ransom note.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Sagittariuses love their knowledge, and I forever stan a knowledge queen. You want to learn every single thing you can about the candidates running, because your entire life is a search and a quest for truth and knowledge. You're super passionate about the philosophical part of politics, and I wouldn't be shocked to learn you vote based on the candidate who aligns with you politically in terms of education. Make sure you're registered to vote, and then you'll endorse your favorite candidate on social media, and do so with passion and vigor.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
Just vote, please, Capricorn. Like, we get it, you're a little power-hungry and likely are the person who's all, "Oh, voting doesn't matter because I don't see any tangible evidence/the system is broken/whatEVER". Your voting record and your pride are universally entwined, Cappy Boo, but a loss for your ideal candidate or measure may hit you personally, but it's not a reason to not participate. Just vote! Make sure you're registered first, though.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Aquariuses, let your freak flag fly. Seriously, this is your time to THRIVE. You're already politically active, and much like a Gemini, have probably started several debates over Thanksgiving turkeys in your lifetime. This literally is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius. You actually like to get messy because you want to start a fucking revolt. START A REVOLT, AQUARIUS. Abraham Lincoln, the best Aquarius, overturned slavery. What have you done today? Use your vigor, idealism, and drive to organize protests and marches, or even create a crazy weird political art display like in Sorry to Bother You or create a weird web series about politics. But first, check your voter registration.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
You're endlessly superstitious and just want peace and beauty all around you, Pisces. You're a super pacifist, and sometimes the entire notion of politics can make your stomach hurt. But that doesn't mean you don't care – you just have a more gentle approach than your other astrological spirits. You'd rather get your political views out in a gorgeous piece of artwork than in the booth, but don't do that! Go vote! And yes, you might vote a little contradiction–Pisces is the sign of "fiscally conservative, socially liberal"–but as long as you approach with the same empathy you approach pretty much everything else in your life, you'll be okay.
The Best Political Swag to Buy for 2020
Again, even if you don't believe in any of this like I do, the point remains: vote, and vote often. Do it time and time again. Yell at your friends for not voting. Don't date someone who doesn't vote. You gotta vote, regardless of what the Zodiac tells you.
* Your Sun Sign is your zodiac "personality", your overarching way of being. This is determined by your birth date.
** Your Moon Sign is your emotional state of being, who you are when you're alone. It's determined by calculating your birth date, location, and time of birth.
*** Your Rising Sign is the mask you wear in public, the person other people see you as being. If you're ever confused that you come across one way to people that you don't feel represents you – or even if you don't identify with your sun sign, read your rising sign's horoscope. It may give more insight. It's determined by calculating your birth date, location, and time of birth.
From explainers to essays, cheat sheets to candidate analysis, we're breaking down exactly what you need to know about this year's midterms. Visit Marie Claire's Midterms Guide for more.
Amanda Mitchell is a writer and podcaster with bylines at Marie Claire, OprahMag, Allure, Byrdie, Stylecaster, Bon Appetit, and more. Her work exists at the apex of beauty, pop culture, and absurdity. A human Funfetti cake, she watches too much television, and her favorite season is awards season. You can read more of her work at amandaelizabethmitchell.com or follow her on Instagram and Twitter @lochnessmanda.
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