By Rich Santos
Why do we celebrate Independence Day? Because independence is attractive. We were not cool when we were a colony. My advice: don't be like the British Imperial Government pre-1776 and try to colonize someone. Conversely, don't be like the Colonists pre-1776 and allow yourself to be colonized.
Aside from sense of humor, independence is the most attractive quality in a person. The paradox is that relationships are entities that require a certain amount of dependence on one another. So how do we do this?
In some cases, nature has figured it out. A good example where both partners benefit would be the clownfish/sea anemone as outlined in Wonderclub.com:
The clownfish has a symbiotic, or mutually beneficial, relationship with the sea anemone. It catches most of its food by cooperating with its host anemone. The clownfish will leave the safety of the anemone's tentacles and swim out among the nearby reef. Its brilliant colors attract larger fish, who, lured by the thought of a meal, follow it back to the anemone and are stung by the anemone one's tentacles. The anemone then consumes the fish, and the clownfish feeds on the remains.
The clownfish also eats away debris and nibbles off the dead tentacles of its host anemone.
OK, so it's a bit morbid (maybe nibbling off the dead tentacles cute?), but you know what I'm getting at. It "cooperates" with its host. That's key: relationships are about cooperation.
We need to remember that relationships are just one part of our lives. We need to make sure to swim out into the reef when we want to—if we are allowed that independence, we will always return to our anemone.
Being independent is attractive, and allowing independence in a relationship is a sign of trust. This is not an easy thing to do though, and when we colonize someone or get colonized by someone, we fall into parasitic "can't live without you" tendencies—we lose friends, and other parts of our lives break apart.
My independence is written on the face of the sky. Whoever derived the definition of Sagittarius was spot on. I've always been into astrology because most of the girls I liked in my younger years were somehow unattainable, so my only hope was to find out their sign and see how well we linked up. That was always as far as I got. But here is what I learned about my sign:
Traits: Fun...Optimist...Good-natured...Sociable...Spiritual...Impatient...Fears Responsibility (yikes)...Self-Indulgence (double yikes)...Peter Pan Syndrome
Likes: Freedom...Unusual Ideas...Being on the Move...Parties...Luxury Items...Gambling...New Friends...Flirting
Dislikes: Public Disapprova (well, who would like this?)...Playing Safe...Confinement...Monotony...Tight clothes/Areas(well, I love/hate my tight jeans)...Being Doubted...Being Refused
They've figured me out. I just don't like to be held down. As soon as the spark is gone from a relationship, it must end. I like pursuing girls who are independent. I feel like I need to earn their time. It's just unnatural to think I can't live without someone. My desire to do nothing (or something) whenever I wantwill never go away. I'd like to think that the women I date have tons of things going on, or need alone time as well.
So how is this Sagittarius who is kind of self absorbed, craving adventure, freedom, independence, and fearing responsibility supposed to find someone compatible—or even someone who likes that "no responsibility" part?
I'm at a loss, so I'm going to submit a video to this psychic for a reading (she does it for free!). She's actually counseled a lot of A-listers (maybe she'll do a Z-lister like me). Hopefully she didn't advise Britney to cut her hair, or Ashley Simpson to do an Irish jig off the stage after getting caught mid-lip-synch. But if these types are so right about my sign, then maybe they'll have some insight into where my soul mate is...or what type of girl I need to look for. Maybe she'll just tell me I'm destined to be alone. If I don't look disgusting in it, I'll share the video with you all.
Is it important to you that your guy be independent? Are you searching for a much more intensive relationship than I'm looking for: spending all your time together? What is your take on astrology? Do you find that the clairvoyants out there have pegged you perfectly with your sign traits? Do you do better with guys born under certain signs? In the spirit of Independence Day, can you share experiences where you have had to get out of an oppressive relationship like the colonists under the British Imperialists?
The 17 Best Sex Games to Spice Up Date Night With
Game night, but make it hot.
By The Editors •
The 56 Most Popular Vibrators, Reviewed by Experts
The most trusted source in feelin' yourself.
By Alanna Greco •
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce •
Four Flirting Fun Facts--With Research to Back Them Up!
My pal Judy Dutton just wrote an excellent new book: How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover. She's chatted with me about the psychological studies that show how best to flirt; what kind of pick-up lines work best; and what you're really saying with your body language.
By Maura Kelly •
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors •
75 Movie Sex Scenes That Are 100 Percent Real
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner •
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2021 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors •
Cult Status Satisfyer Vibrators Are Under $40 for Prime Day
4 stars, 16k reviews...yeah, this vibe's got a massive fan club (for good reason).
By Carina Hsieh •